Dressmakers -- Fiction; Love stories; Young women -- Fiction
And then Sally remembered Gaga. She had been laughing so much in herself
at this long evening of freedom, that the recollection was like ice to
her heart. It was all a mockery, a fantasy; and Toby was no more hers.
She was separated from him for ever, and the more closely she was
embraced by him the less she felt herself free to belong to him. A
revulsion of feeling shook her. With an instinctive movement almost
savage, she escaped from his arm and walked onward, her face set and her
spirits banished.
"No," she cried, when Toby sought to re-establish his protective hold.
She was as if deep in thought; but in fact she was not thinking at all,
but was only overwhelmed by the old horror of her situation which had
newly arisen after this short respite of dreaming. Toby let her walk
alone, and lighted a cigarette, slouching beside her with his hands in
the pockets of his jacket. He was a dim hunched figure in the gloom.
Sally could not see him clearly; her sense of him was simply of his
strength and his responsiveness to her own physical inclinations. The
sense evoked in her heart longing which made Sally bow her head. She
sighed deeply; her fixed eyes were closed. She was quite blind. For an
instant she was lost in grave humility. Her smile in the darkness held
such sweetness that it gave proof of her true love, her beautiful and
entranced adoration.
"What time you got to be back?" Toby abruptly questioned in a
matter-of-fact tone. It was like the unexpected tearing of calico, so
sharply did such a demand break the vision and show his insensitiveness
to her mood.
"Back?" Sally was dazed. She could not understand Toby's speech. "Back
where?" She had an extraordinary feeling of shock. Her peace was
destroyed.
"To-night."
Sally caught her breath. In a strained tone that sounded, as she meant
it to sound, as though she had been merely inattentive, she made answer:
"Oh, I.... I'm going home to-night. Holloway. Stopping with mother."
Toby had looked at his watch before throwing his match away.
"It's ha' parce eight," he mentioned.
A fierceness shook Sally. It was more than she could bear. She turned
upon him in a fury. With such a snarling venom did she speak that Toby
drew himself almost defensively to his full height.
"Don't let me keep you!" she cried. "I didn't know you were in a hurry.
If you want to go home, _go_. Go!" She ended almost in a scream, and
her fists were frantically jerked.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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