Cornelius O'Dowd Upon Men And Women And Other Things In GeneralLever, Charles
General
Cornelius O'Dowd Upon Men And Women And Other Things In General
Lever, Charles
Biography -- Humor; Essays; Italy -- Description and travel
But let us be practical The Pope’s Government demanded of Mr Home that
he should have no dealings with the Evil One during his stay at Rome.
Now, I ask, what should we say of the efficacy of our police system
if we were to hear that the Chief Inspector at Scotland Yard lived in
nightly terror of the pickpockets who frequented that quarter, and
came to Parliament with a petition to accord him some greater
security against their depredations? Would not the natural reply be an
exclamation of astonishment that he who could summon to his aid every
alphabetical blue-coat that ever handled a truncheon, should deem any
increased security necessary to his peace? And so, would I ask, of what
avail these crowds of cardinals--these regiments of monsignori--these
battalions of bishops, Arch and simple?--of what use all the incense
and these chanted litanies, these eternal processions, and these saintly
shin-bones borne in costly array--if one poor mortal, supposed to live
on visiting terms with the Evil One, can strike such terror into the
whole army led on by Infallibility?
If I had been possessed of any peculiar dread of coming unexpectedly
on the Devil--as the old ladies of New York used to feel long ago
about suddenly meeting with the British army--I should certainly have
comforted myself by the thought that I could always go and sit down on
the steps of the Vatican. It would immediately have occurred to me, that
as Holyrood offers its sanctuary against the sheriff, the Quirinal would
be the sure retreat against Old Nick; and I have even pictured to myself
the rage of his disappointed malice as he saw me sheltering safely
beneath a protection he dared not invade. And now I am told to
relinquish all the blessed enjoyment of this immunity; that the Pope and
the Cardinals and Antonelli himself are not a whit better off than the
rest of us; that if Mr Home gets into Rome, there is nothing to prevent
his having the Devil at his tea-parties. What an ignoble confession
is this! Who will step forward any longer and contend that this costly
system is to be maintained, and all these saintly intercessors to be
kept on the most expensive of all pension-lists, if a poor creature like
Home can overthrow it all?
Can any one conceive such a spectacle as these gorgeous men of scarlet
and purple cringing before this poor pretender, and openly avowing
before Europe that there is no peace for them till he consents to cross
the Tiber?
Why--I speak, of course, in the ignorance of a laic--but, I ask, why not
fumigate him and cleanse him? When I saw him last, the process would not
have been so supererogatory. Why not exorcise and defy him? Why not say,
Come, and bring your friend if you dare; you shall see how we will treat
you. Only try it It is what we have been asking for nigh two thousand
years. Let the great culprit step forward and plead to his indictment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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