The door was closed. Alba Steno was again alone. Half an hour later,
when the footman entered to ask for orders relative to the carriage sent
back by the Countess, he found her standing motionless at the window
from which she had watched Dorsenne depart. There she had once more
been seized by the temptation of suicide. She had again felt with an
irresistible force the magnetic attraction of death. Life appeared to
her once more as something too vile, too useless, too insupportable to
be borne. The carriage was at her disposal. By way of the Portese gate
and along the Tiber, with the Countess’s horses, it would take an hour
and a half to reach the Lake di Porto. She had, too, this pretext, to
avoid the curiosity of the servants: one of the Roman noblewomen of her
acquaintance, Princess Torlonia, owned an isolated villa on the border
of that lake.... She ascended hastily to don her hat. And without
writing a word of farewell to any one, without even casting a glance at
the objects among which she had lived and suffered, she descended the
staircase and gave the coachman the name of the villa, adding “Drive
quickly; I am late now.”
The Lake di Porto is only, as its name indicates, the port of the
ancient Tiber. The road which leads from Transtevere runs along the
river, which rolls through a plain strewn with ruins and indented with
barren hills, its brackish water discolored from the sand and mud of the
Apennines.
Here groups of eucalyptus, there groups of pine parasols above some
ruined walls, were all the vegetation which met Alba Steno’s eye. But
the scene accorded so well with the moral devastation she bore within
her that the barrenness around her in her last walk was pleasant to her.
The feeling that she was nearing eternal peace, final sleep in which she
should suffer no more, augmented when she alighted from the carriage,
and, having passed the garden of Villa Torlonia, she found herself
facing the small lake, so grandiose in its smallness by the wildness of
its surroundings, and motionless, surprised in even that supreme moment
by the magic of that hidden sight, she paused amid the reeds with their
red tufts to look at that pond which was to become her tomb, and she
murmured:
“How beautiful it is!”
There was in the humid atmosphere which gradually penetrated her a charm
of mortal rest, to which she abandoned herself dreamily, almost with
physical voluptuousness, drinking into her being the feverish fumes of
that place--one of the most fatal at that season and at that hour of all
that dangerous coast--until she shuddered in her light summer gown.
Her shoulders contracted, her teeth chattered, and that feeling of
discomfort was to her as a signal for action. She took another allee of
rose-bushes in flower to reach a point on the bank barren of vegetation,
where was outlined the form of a boat. She soon detached it, and,
managing the heavy oars with her delicate hands, she advanced toward the
middle of the lake.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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