No wonder. Her mind, her whole being, so to say, was filled with the
image of her husband; with the longing only to see him; with the
bitter, unavailing remorse for the past. That one solitary sight of
him, in Paris at Mrs. Blunt's, had revived within her the pain and
excitement, which had been previously subsiding into a sort of dull
apathy. The château in Switzerland had been, as a residence, lonely
and wearisome; it was nothing, in those respects, compared with this
old castle of Sir Sandy's. At least, Adela, found it so. In fact, she
did not know what she wanted. She shrank from even the bare suggestion
of publicity, and she shrank from solitude. She felt herself in the
position of one whose whole interest in life has departed while yet a
long life lies before her: the saddest of all sad positions, and the
most rare.
Was it to continue so for ever and for ever? Yes, she would wail out
in answer, when asking herself the question: at least, as long as time
should last. For there could be no change in it. She had forfeited all
possibility of that. The lone, miserable woman that she was now, must
she remain to the end.
She wondered sometimes whether any one ever died of repentance and
regret. Existence was becoming all but unendurable. When she opened
her weary eyelids to the dawn of a new day she would moan out a faint
prayer that God in His compassion would help her to get through it,
and would bury her face in the pillow, wishing she could so bury
herself and her misery.
It must not be thought she was encouraged in this state of mind. Lady
Harriet MacIvor had become intolerably cross about it long ago, openly
telling Adela she had no patience with her. From her Adela received no
sympathy whatever. Look where she would, not a gleam of brightness
shone for her. Sick at heart, fainting in spirit, it seemed to Adela
that any change would be welcome; and when Sir Sandy received a letter
one morning, telling him his presence was needed in London, and he
announced his intention of starting that same day, Adela said she
should go with him.
Lady Harriet did not oppose it. In truth, it brought her relief. Adela
was becoming more of a responsibility day by day; and she had held
some anxious conferences with her husband as to the expediency of
their resigning charge of her.
"It is the best thing that could have happened, Sandy," she said to
him in private. "Take her over to mamma, and tell her everything. I
think they had better keep her themselves for a time."
Hence the unexpected irruption of the travellers at Chenevix House.
Lady Acorn was not pleased. Not that she was sorry to see Adela once
more; but she had lived in a chronic state of anger with her since the
separation, and the accounts written to her from time to time by her
daughter Harriet in no way diminished it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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