England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction
of such a crisis as this? She tried to apply all her unused faculties to
it; but they eluded her, and ran into frightened anticipations,
endeavours to realise what was about to happen. She had no confidence
that she would keep her self-possession, or have her wits about her
when the moment come. Oh, if Harry had but been here! But then she
remembered all he had to do, and was glad to think that he would be
quietly asleep and unconscious of what was going on; and that after all,
the fatigue, and the disquietude and dreadful fear that she would not be
equal to the necessities of the occasion, would be endured by herself
alone. He had plenty to trouble him, she reflected. He would be wretched
enough in his anxiety, without wishing him to share this vigil. And then
Mary appealed silently to the only One Who is never absent in trouble,
imploring Him to stand by her; and felt a little relief in that, and in
the softening tears that came with her prayer.
The room was very still, and so was the house, all wrapt in sleep and
silence. The housekeeper and Miss Hofland had both offered to sit up,
but she had rejected all companionship. She could not have borne the
presence of a stranger, or the possibility of any third person coming
between her and her child. A nightlight burned faintly in a corner; the
light of the fire diffused a soft glow. All was warm and still and
breathless in the deep quiet of the night. And as the hours passed on so
still, bringing no change with them, Mary’s thoughts wandered to the
past, into which she seemed to have come back when she entered this
house. Her youth seemed to come back: the familiar figures which she had
not seen for years surrounded her once more. Hetty slept, or seemed to
sleep, not moving in her bed; and in Mary’s thoughts the familiar room
took back its old appearance. This was where the mother of the house had
sat with her basket of coloured worsteds and her endless work, which was
never done. And there the girls had their little establishments: Anna
with her music, Sophie with her little drawings. Neither the drawings
nor the music had been of high quality, but Mary’s anxious heart went
away to them in the midst of this vigil, and got a moment’s refreshment
and affectionate soft consolation out of their faded memory. She had not
been of much account in those days, but they had all been good to her.
And now they were both at the other end of the world, knowing nothing of
Mary, as Mary knew nothing of them. And Percy, where was he, the
handsome, careless fellow? And John, poor John? Ah! that struck a
different chord in her musings. Where was he, if this house was still
his? and who was the wife that had made him rich, and then left him, and
left her child in this mysterious way? Where was John? Was it true that
he had lost his wits (he had so few, dear fellow, at the best of
times!), and was shut up somewhere in a madhouse, as had been said? Shut
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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