England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction
“Did you hear anything, Hetty? did you see anything?” cried little Rhoda
in her ear, while Miss Hofland covered her up. Hetty, in the agony of
her unwonted secret, did not know how to make any reply. She had never
known what it was to have a secret before. To know something which she
kept to herself seemed wrong to Hetty. If there ever was any little
thing unknown to mamma, such as that project for the private paying of
the bills, it was breathed to Janey. Little secrets about Christmas
presents and suchlike--secrets so little, so innocent--were always
shared with somebody. To have this dark knowledge in her heart, and
nobody to tell it to, made Hetty’s heart sick. And Rhoda’s big eyes
appealing to her made everything more difficult. She had heard nothing,
not a sound, which made what she had seen still more weird and
unearthly. And what did the child mean, whispering as if she had a
secret too?
Hetty, however, slumbered a little in the warm room, with the protecting
sense of society round her, and the hum of the voices in her ears.
Nothing could happen there to her that would not be known. If that thing
should really appear again, at least Miss Hofland would be there to see
it too. This soothed and brought the ease of rest to the feverish brain.
But when night came again, and Hetty had to go to bed by herself in that
room, with the window as usual open to the sky, and the formal
flower-beds with the chrysanthemums all spread out in the moonlight,
and the consciousness that Miss Hofland had turned the key in her door,
and shut herself off from all possibility of appeal, Hetty’s sensations
of alarm were indescribable. She rushed to the window and drew the
curtains close that she might not see out; then, feeling still more
intolerable the thought that outside, in the whiteness of the moon, that
ghastly thing might be pacing, drew them back again in a panic, and
gazed out in a trance of speechless terror. But the white light fell
unbroken over the garden, and the long vista of the park opened before
her, a wistful vacancy stretching to the sky, without a living thing to
disturb the scene. Hetty stood clinging to the curtains, half hidden in
their folds, as if she were herself afraid to be seen, for a long time,
she did not know how long. But there was no movement or shadow upon the
undisturbed stillness, and ghostly, motionless, half-frozen calm
without. She stood there till she was chilled to the heart with cold;
her fire had gone out; her candles were nearly burnt to the socket, and
nature began to assert her rights. The stable clock shrilling all the
hours close at hand, and the village clock booming in a minute after
like a bass accompaniment, were half consoling, half alarming. Twelve!
how long it took to strike! and was not this the hour “when churchyards
yawn and graves give up----” Hetty hung upon the curtains, half
unconscious, for a minute or two; if she had not grasped them so she
would have fallen, and probably fainted.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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