I'll mine for half an ounce a day, Perhaps a little less; But when it comes to China pay I cannot stand the press. Like thousands there, I'll make a pile, If I make one at all, About the time the allied forces Take Sepasterpol. THE CALIFORNIA STAGE COMPANY There's no respect for youth or age On board the California stage, But pull and haul about the seats As bed-bugs do about the sheets. Refrain: They started as a thieving line In eighteen hundred and forty-nine; All opposition they defy, So the people must root hog or die. You're crowded in with Chinamen, As fattening hogs are in a pen; And what will more a man provoke Is musty plug tobacco smoke. The ladies are compelled to sit With dresses in tobacco spit; The gentlemen don't seem to care, But talk on politics and swear. The dust is deep in summer time, The mountains very hard to climb, And drivers often stop and yell, "Get out, all hands, and push up hill." The drivers, when they feel inclined, Will have you walking on behind, And on your shoulders lug a pole To help them out some muddy hole. They promise when your fare you pay, "You'll have to walk but half the way"; Then add aside, with cunning laugh, "You'll have to push the other half." NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM My country, 'tis of thee, Land where things used to be So cheap, we croak. Land of the mavericks, Land of the puncher's tricks, Thy culture-inroad pricks The hide of this peeler-bloke. Some of the punchers swear That what they eat and wear Takes all their calves. Others vow that they Eat only once a day Jerked beef and prairie hay Washed down with tallow salves. These salty-dogs[14] but crave To pull them out the grave Just one Kiowa spur. They know they still will dine On flesh and beef the time; But give us, Lord divine, One "hen-fruit stir."[15] Our father's land, with thee, Best trails of liberty, We chose to stop. We don't exactly like So soon to henceward hike, But hell, we'll take the pike If this don't stop. [Footnote 14: Cowboy Dude.] [Footnote 15: Pancake.]