Long Ike and sweet Betsy got married of course, But Ike getting jealous obtained a divorce; And Betsy, well satisfied, said with a shout, "Good-bye, you big lummax, I'm glad you backed out." Saying, good-bye, dear Isaac, Farewell for a while, But come back in time To replenish my pile. THE DISHEARTENED RANGER Come listen to a ranger, you kind-hearted stranger, This song, though a sad one, you're welcome to hear; We've kept the Comanches away from your ranches, And followed them far o'er the Texas frontier. We're weary of scouting, of traveling, and routing The blood-thirsty villains o'er prairie and wood; No rest for the sinner, no breakfast or dinner, But he lies in a supperless bed in the mud. No corn nor potatoes, no bread nor tomatoes, But jerked beef as dry as the sole of your shoe; All day without drinking, all night without winking, I'll tell you, kind stranger, this never will do. Those great alligators, the State legislators, Are puffing and blowing two-thirds of their time, But windy orations about rangers and rations Never put in our pockets one-tenth of a dime. They do not regard us, they will not reward us, Though hungry and haggard with holes in our coats; But the election is coming and they will be drumming And praising our valor to purchase our votes. For glory and payment, for vittles and raiment, No longer we'll fight on the Texas frontier. So guard your own ranches, and mind the Comanches Or surely they'll scalp you in less than a year. Though sore it may grieve you, the rangers must leave you Exposed to the arrows and knife of the foe; So herd your own cattle and fight your own battle, For home to the States I'm determined to go,-- Where churches have steeples and laws are more equal, Where houses have people and ladies are kind; Where work is regarded and worth is rewarded; Where pumpkins are plenty and pockets are lined. Your wives and your daughters we have guarded from slaughter, Through conflicts and struggles I shudder to tell; No more well defend them, to God we'll commend them. To the frontier of Texas we bid a farewell. THE MELANCHOLY COWBOY Come all you melancholy folks and listen unto me, I will sing you about the cowboy whose heart's so light and free; He roves all over the prairie and at night when he lays down His heart's as gay as the flowers of May with his bed spread on the ground. They are a little bit rough, I must confess, the most of them at least; But as long as you do not cross their trail, you can live with them in peace. But if you do, they're sure to rule, the day you come to their land, For they'll follow you up and shoot it out, they'll do it man to man.