"It never would have done for me to say that much to Mrs. Fermitage.
She would have been out in a wrath at once, for she is not sweet like
master; so I gave her all 'yes' instead of 'why' or 'how,' as we do to
quick-tempered gentlefolk. And then I ran away to ask my mother, and
she no more than laughed at me. 'You silly child,' says mother, quite
as if there had never been a fool till now; 'when the law getteth hold
of a thing, there be only two places for to find it in.' 'Two places,
mother! What two places?' said I, without construction. 'Why, the
right-hand or the left-hand pocket of a lawyer's breeches,' mother
answered, just as if she had served all her time with a tailor. Now,
don't laugh, Mr. Overshute; it is true, every word as I tell you."
"Ay, that her be," cried Cripps, with a smack of one hand on the
other. "Your mother is a wonderful woman for truth and sense, my
deary."
"Well, well," replied Mary, with a broad knowing smile, as much as to
say, "You had better try her" "at her time of life her ought to be, if
ever they seek to attain it. So I acted according to mother's
directions, letting her always speak foremost. And between us we got
Master Kale to go, on his legs, all the way to Oxford with the hope of
a lift back with you, Master Cripps; but, late as you was, he were
later. He carried a letter from Mrs. Fermitage, couched in the
thirtieth person, to Mrs. Luke Sharp of Cross-Duck House, the very one
as sent that good book back. Master's sister have felt below contempt
towards her since that time, and in dignity could do no otherwise. And
now she put it short and sharp, as no less could be expected--and word
for word can I say of it--
"'Mrs. Fermitage has the honour of presenting her compliments to Mrs.
Sharp, and begs to express her surprise at the strange retention by
Mrs. S. of a pair of valuable silk stockings, which are the property
of Mrs. F. If they are not in use, it is begged that they may be
returned by the bearer.--Postscript: Mrs. F. takes this opportunity of
acknowledging the return of a book, which, being filled only with the
word of God, was perhaps of less practical value to Mrs. S. than silk
stockings appear to be.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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