Country homes -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Intellectuals -- Fiction; Satire
“At George’s sudden entrance they had all looked towards the door, and
now they sat, petrified by the same astonishment which kept George fixed
and staring. Georgiana, who sat immediately facing the door, gazed at
him with dark, enormous eyes. Between the thumb and forefinger of her
right hand she was holding a drumstick of the dismembered chicken; her
little finger, elegantly crooked, stood apart from the rest of her hand.
Her mouth was open, but the drumstick had never reached its destination;
it remained, suspended, frozen, in mid-air. The other two sisters had
turned round to look at the intruder. Caroline still grasped her knife
and fork; Emmeline’s fingers were round the stem of her claret glass.
For what seemed a very long time, George and the three sisters stared
at one another in silence. They were a group of statues. Then suddenly
there was movement. Georgiana dropped her chicken bone, Caroline’s knife
and fork clattered on her plate. The movement propagated itself, grew
more decisive; Emmeline sprang to her feet, uttering a cry. The wave of
panic reached George; he turned and, mumbling something unintelligible
as he went, rushed out of the room and down the winding stairs. He came
to a standstill in the hall, and there, all by himself in the quiet
house, he began to laugh.
“At luncheon it was noticed that the sisters ate a little more than
usual. Georgiana toyed with some French beans and a spoonful of
calves’-foot jelly. ‘I feel a little stronger to-day,’ she said to Lord
Timpany, when he congratulated her on this increase of appetite; ‘a
little more material,’ she added, with a nervous laugh. Looking up, she
caught George’s eye; a blush suffused her cheeks and she looked hastily
away.
“In the garden that afternoon they found themselves for a moment alone.
“You won’t tell anyone, George? Promise you won’t tell anyone,’ she
implored. ‘It would make us look so ridiculous. And besides, eating IS
unspiritual, isn’t it? Say you won’t tell anyone.’
“‘I will,’ said George brutally. ‘I’ll tell everyone, unless...’
“‘It’s blackmail.’
“‘I don’t care, said George. ‘I’ll give you twenty-four hours to
decide.’
“Lady Lapith was disappointed, of course; she had hoped for better
things--for Timpany and a coronet. But George, after all, wasn’t so bad.
They were married at the New Year.
“My poor grandfather!” Mr. Wimbush added, as he closed his book and
put away his pince-nez. “Whenever I read in the papers about oppressed
nationalities, I think of him.” He relighted his cigar. “It was
a maternal government, highly centralised, and there were no
representative institutions.”
Henry Wimbush ceased speaking. In the silence that ensued Ivor’s
whispered commentary on the spirit sketches once more became audible.
Priscilla, who had been dozing, suddenly woke up.
“What?” she said in the startled tones of one newly returned to
consciousness; “what?”
Jenny caught the words. She looked up, smiled, nodded reassuringly.
“It’s about a ham,” she said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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