sink me to hell; but, O thou merciful God, my soul cannot endure thy
justice. The foretaste of thy wrath fills me with the pangs of eternal
death. O God, have mercy upon me. O God, blot out my transgressions.
Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me. O Christ,
whom I have despised, cast me not from thy presence. Help me to submit to
thee. Help me to follow thee. Spare me that I may undo something of that
which I have done against thy glory and the souls of men. O Jesus, I can
do nothing to save myself. O Lord, have mercy on me, the chief of
sinners."
He read the invitations and promises of Christ, and prayed again. Again he
read and again he prayed. Little by little the promises of Christ stirred
a feeble faith in his heart; he felt that there was still hope for him,
and with the determination to cast himself upon the sure mercies of Christ
and to devote himself to his service, he threw himself upon his bed, and
being wearied almost to exhaustion, soon fell asleep. When he awoke it was
broad daylight. He had slept a sweet, refreshing sleep. But he was
refreshed not merely in body. He woke to a new world. His heart was filled
with sweet thankfulness. "How beautiful," he said, "is God's world! I
never saw it so before, but the earth and sky seem clothed in glory. But
most wonderful of all is God's goodness to me. I have rebelled against him
all my life, yet he has loved me and sought for my salvation, and now the
sunlight of his love has broken through the thick clouds of my sin, and a
day of hope and joy has dawned upon my life. Christ has indeed revealed
himself. Blessed be his holy name for ever and ever! What shall I render
unto the Lord for all his benefits? I will take the cup of salvation and
call upon the name of the Lord. I will pay my vows now in presence of all
his people. I will teach transgressors thy ways, and sinners shall be
converted unto thee."
All this was known to the people, for during the week Mr. Hume had spoken
of it in private and in public. He had told it to Mr. Wilton, and they had
rejoiced together.
Ansel and Peter had also regularly presented themselves at every meeting
as anxious inquirers desiring the grace of God. Peter had also on his
knees said from the heart, "Here, Lord, I give myself away," and had
received the assurance that his sins were forgiven. The Spirit of God
witnessed with his spirit that he was born of God. He began at once to
use all his influence to bring his young friends to Jesus. The addition of
two such workers as Mr. Hume and Peter, each moving in his own circle of
acquaintances, gave a fresh impulse to the religious interest, which was
now becoming deep and pervasive. Especially had Mr. Hume's conversion, so
clear and positive, confounded those who had sat "in the seat of the
scornful," and many came in now for the first time to see for themselves
what it could be that had mastered their cold, clear-headed leader in
unbelief.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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