Curiosities of Medical ExperienceMillingen, J. G. (John Gideon)
Philosophy
Curiosities of Medical Experience
Millingen, J. G. (John Gideon)
Medicine
The most melancholy record of the miseries of hypochondriacism is to be
found in the diary of Dr. Walderstein of Gottingen. He was a man much
deformed in person, and his mind seemed as distorted as his body. Although
of deep learning and research, and convinced of the absurdity of his
impressions, yet he was unable to resist their baneful influence. "My
misfortune," says the doctor, "is, that I never exist in this world, but
rather in possible combinations created by my imagination to my
conscience. They occupy a large portion of my time, and my reason has not
the power to banish them. My malady, in fact, is the faculty of extracting
poison from every circumstance in life; so much so that I often felt the
most wretched being because I had not been able to sneeze three times
together. One night when I was in bed I felt a sudden fear of fire, and
gradually became as much oppressed by imaginary heat as though my room
were in flames. While in this situation, a fire-bell in the neighbourhood
sounded, and added to my intense sufferings. I do not blush at what might
be called my superstition any more than I should blush in acknowledging
that my senses inform me that the earth does not move. My error forms the
_body_ of my judgment, and I thank God that he has given it a _soul_
capable of correcting it. When I have been perfectly free from pain, as is
not unfrequently the case when I am in bed, my sense of this happiness has
brought tears of gratitude in my eyes. I once dreamt," adds Walderstein,
"that I was condemned to be burnt alive. I was very calm, and reasoned
coolly during the execution of my sentence. 'Now,' I said to myself, 'I am
burning, but not yet burnt; and by-and-by I shall be reduced to a cinder.'
This was all I thought, and I did nothing but think. When, upon awaking, I
reflected upon my dream, I was by no means pleased with it, for I was
afraid I should become _all thought and no feeling_." It is strange that
this fear of thought, assuming a corporeal form in deep affliction, had
occurred to our poet Rowe, when he exclaims in the Fair Penitent, "_Turn
not to thought my brain_." "What is very distressing," continues the
unfortunate narrator, "is, that when I am ill I can think nothing, feel
nothing, without bringing it home to myself. It seems to me that the whole
world is a mere machine, expressly formed to make me feel my sufferings in
every possible manner." What a fearful avowal from a reflecting and
intelligent man! Does it not illustrate Rousseau's definition of
reason--_the knowledge of our folly_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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