And now Johnny, thou most excellent of all state coachmen, to thy Fatherly care, we, an overtaxed, ill-paid, and half-starved people do consign ourselves, trusting that you will take our lamentable condition into thy kind consideration, and spare us from being poisoned with meat that has had the measles, and from being cheated by a set of greedy butchers; and save us from the Fenianites, we implore you; and grant us most merciful Johnny, that at the forthcoming Christmas, every mother’s son of us may be plentifully supplied with beef, pudding, and stout, so that we may boldly shout, slap bang, here we are again, and sing in thy praise now and for evermore. Amen. Thus endeth the Lesson of the day. HENRY DISLEY, Printer, 57, High Street, St. Giles. THE FAMINE FAST DAY. _Sam_--Well Tum, how did tha get on oth’ Fast day. _Tom_--Ta’ Fas day! bye gum awe think nowt oth’ fast day, for its a fast day every day wi’ us. _Sam_--Nay mon, not every day, awe shud think yo’ve summat to eat sum time. _Tom_--Aye, we have summat to eat, but it’s very lettle tha may depend on’t, thick porrich un’ sour milk for brekfast, un’ potatos and suit, un sum toime a red yarrin un brown bread for dinner, an we go to bed awebewt supper, un if that’s feasting aw dunna know what you cawn fasting. _Sam_--Well but Tum, con yor tell me what this fast day wur kept for. _Tom_--Aye by gum con aw, they sen it’s to drive famine away. _Sam_--Famine, wot dost mean mon, why all this clemming eh England, Ireland, an’ Scotland. _Tom_--Aw con there be a famine ith’ land, un th’ warehouses an th’ tommy shops aw breaking down wi’ stuff. _Sam_--Aw think eth’ Lords un Bishops, un Parsons an such like folks had ony goodness in um, they’d gie poor folks a feast day, instead of a fast day. _Tom_--Now do you think that these Parsons and Bishops kept th’ fast day. _Sam_--Not they mon, they an fish, eggs, turtle soup, and such like, but if th’ poor could live as they done, they might fast for one day. _Tom_--I’ll tell thee how aw did, aw sent owr Nell th’ day afore to borrow some brass, un hoo geet sixpence, an’ hoo went to Shade Hill, un hoo bought a sheep’s pluck, but it had no heart toot, un hoo geet a penoth o’th bacon, un hoo stew’d it aw together, un it wur rare un good, aw dunna think th’ queen had such a dinner, it’s the best flesh meat dinner I’ve had this six months. _Sam_--Aw reckon yo stuff’d yore guts so full, you’d no more to eat that day. _Tom_--Why we wur hungry ageen next morning, un had to fall to our thick porrich an’ sour milk, but if fasting will drive famine away, I should like it to drive poverty away so that poor folk could geet plenty of plum pudding and dumplins, an’ sich like, but stop, I’ve bowt a song about it, un you shall hear it:--