Broadsides; Chapbooks; Street literature -- Great Britain
7. And be it enacted that any pug-dog, lap-dog, poodle-dog, bull-dog,
who shall be found lurking about the street without being well
muzzled, so as to prevent them from picking up the stray bones; and
such dogs not giving their names and address to the police will be
treated as bad characters, and will be taken into custody,--that is
if the police can catch them--and be detained until their parents or
friends can be found.
8. And further that such dogs shall board and lodge at the nearest
station-house for three days free of expence, and provided with
such food a medical inspector shall think fit, but if not owned at
the end of that time they shall be treated as outcasts and executed
accordingly; and their bodies sold for what they will fetch, the
proceeds to go towards a fund for the relief of decayed pie shop
keepers.
9. No shoeblack will be allowed to polish up your understandings, nor
use the words, “shine your boots, sir,” without being duly licensed
according to Act of Parliament. And no costermonger, or costermonger’s
apprentice, shall dare to cry “ten a penny walnuts,” within four feet
of the footway; and any donkey braying without an order from the
Commissioners shall be taken into custody, and fed upon cabbage stumps
for one month.
10. With a view to suppressing all gaming, all betting men are
forbidden to meet more than three together in public thoroughfares, but
may victimise as many as they like in the back streets.
11. No owners of soup or cook shops shall dare to sell any stocking
pudding that has not got at least two plums and a half in a square
inch, or they will be compelled to swallow three quarts of double size
every day for a fortnight. No confectioner shall make or cause to be
made, any lollipops or sugar sticks measuring more than six inches in
length, and any children sucking any of larger dimensions in the public
streets will be considered as causing an obstruction, and punished
accordingly.
12. This Act is favourable to all cats as we find they are not
mentioned, so they are empowered to plunder our cupboards, and seranade
us with their nightly gambols on the tiles.
13. No boy under twenty years of age will be allowed to trundle a hoop
upon the footpath, except between the hours of twelve at night and six
in the morning.
14. No lady after the passing of this Act must wear a bonnet larger
than the bottom of a halfpenny bun, lest they should be afflicted with
the brain fever, nor have more hair sticking out behind than would
stuff a moderate side pillow-case.
15. No gent shall be allowed to wear whiskers that shall extend more
than four inches and a half from his face under the pain of being close
shaved with a carpenter’s hand-saw.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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