What will the drunkard do for ale? Shall I unfold my dreadful tale? Yes, I’ll unfold it if I can, To benefit a drunken man. What will a drunkard do for ale? It will make a sober man turn pale, Sell his hat and pawn his coat, To satisfy his greedy throat. Sell his stockings and his shirt, Strut about in rags and dirt, Sell his shoes from off his feet, And barefoot go about the streets. What will he do to gain his end? He will deceive his dearest friend, His crafty plans he will devise, And tell the most atrocious lies. What will a drunkard do for ale? Dark and dismal grows my tale; Sell his bedstead and his bed, Nor leave a place to lay his head. Sell his blankets and his sheets, Lie in barns or walk the streets, His thirsty soul will cry for more, He’s starved and miserably poor. He’ll beg for half-pence when he can, And say he is a dying man; But if three half-pence he has got, He’ll go and find another sot. As mean and shabby as himself, A dirty, ragged, drunken elf, In some alehouse corner seated, Waiting longing to be treated. They freely enter into chat, If they can but catch a flat; With every one they will be friends, If they can but gain their ends. Then with his bosom full of strife, Each man goes home to beat his wife, The children beat and sent to bed, Because the wretches have no bread. No meat, no butter have they got, Such is the dwelling of a sot, The wife in tears and ragged too, Say, drunkard, is my statement true? THE DRUNKARD’S FAREWELL TO HIS FOLLY! Farewell landlords, farewell jerry’s, Farewell brandy, wine, and sherry, Farewell horrors and blue devils, Farewell dens of midnight revels. Farewell fires that have no coals on, Farewell shoes that have no soles on, Farewell children with wry faces, Farewell to the pop-shop races. Farewell wash and all wash vendors, Farewell duns and all dun senders, Farewell landlords and your spouses, Farewell spiders and your houses. Farewell to your noise and babble, Farewell to your foolish gabble, Farewell pockets that are empty, Farewell landlords, you’ve had plenty. London:--H. Such, Printer, 123, Union Street, Boro’--S.E. Established 1846. NEW BEER HOUSE ACT, To be observed by all Beer Sellers and Beer Drinkers throughout England, and to be in force as long as the people will stand it. Now it has pleased the Lords spiritual and temporal of this miscalled free and happy England, to look with an eye of pity on the working classes; and feeling for all those who are fond of their beer, have passed a bill called the New Beer House Act, and all persons breaking the same will have to look out for squalls.