There’s scythes, sickles, forks and rakes, Ganders, turkeys, ducks and drakes, Chickens, hens, and cocks that crow, Is seen at the Agricultural Show. There’s buckets, churns, milk-pails, Washing tubs, and Chowbent nails; All sorts of flowers and fruit that grow, At the Agricultural Show. There is some young men got on the spree, And lushey got as they could be, An old cobler they met, they made him so drunk, That he went to smoke his short pipe at the pump. A man from London brought his wife, Indeed it is true upon my life, To tell you all that she can do, She can lick Jem Mace and Heenan too. From miles around they come by train, Into the town to see the game; And the country lads are always right, They won’t go home till broad daylight. Two or three machines of every kind, To go by water or by wind; Some to stop old people’s tongues, And one to grind old people young. There are Lancashire clogs and Cheshire cheese, London bugs and Suffolk fleas, You cannot sleep a wink at night, They are such devils for to fight. There’s a farmer’s daughter,--sweet eighteen, With nineteen hoops in her crinoline; It’s just a mile round the brim of her hat, She has got a cock-eye and a hump on her back. Triumphal arches I’ll be bound, Decorating ---- ---- town; With hearts so light and spirits gay, Hark! how the bands of music play. Some young ladies dress’d in white, Will be stopping out all night; If you should wink why they will wait, Upon the road by the turnpike gate. Oh, lovely night, when all alone, The lads and lasses toddling home; In a few months’ time the girls will show The game was played coming from the Show. The farmers’ lads will you not mind, The factory girls will dress so fine, They’ll go and leave the silk machine, To make little boys and girls by steam. THE WINDHAM LUNACY CASE. [Illustration: THE COVE THAT WANTED THE MONEY.] [Illustration: THE LADY WHO GOT THE JEWELS.] Oh, dear! what a rumpus and bother, From one end of England right bang to the other, The lawyers their wigs pelted one at the other, Young Windham has conquered them all. They swore he was mad, that he acted quite funny, Imitated the cat, and stood just like a dummy, The fact was, you see, that they wanted his money, But now the old soldier is licked. Oh, dear! what can the matter be? Swearing and humbugging, jawing and flattery, They may now go and hang themselves up to an apple tree, Young Windham has conquered them all.