"You are the only one of the family to whom I dare write. I
have displeased father too much to ever hope for his
forgiveness, while mother will never go against his wishes, even
if the grief of it should make me die. I am very unhappy, I can
tell you that, more unhappy than even they could wish, but they
must never know it, never. I have still enough pride to wish to
keep my misery to myself, and it would be just the one thing
that would make my burden unbearable, to have them know I
regretted the marriage on account of which I have been turned
away from their hearts and home forever. But I do regret it,
Cynthia, from the bottom of my heart. He is not kind, and he is
not a gentleman, and I made a terrible mistake, as you can see.
But I do not think I was to blame. He seemed so devoted, and
used to make me such beautiful speeches that I never thought to
ask if he were a good man; and when father and mother opposed
him so bitterly that we had to meet by stealth, he was always so
considerate, and yet so determined, that he seemed to me like an
angel till we were married, and then it was too late to do
anything but accept my fate. I think he expected father to
forgive us and take us home, and when he found these
expectations false he became both ugly and sullen, and so my
life is nothing but a burden to me, and I almost wish I was
dead. But I am very strong, and so is he, and so we are likely
to live on, pulling away at the chain that binds us, till both
are old and gray.
"Pretty talk for a young girl's reading, is it not? But it
relieves me to pour out my heart to some one that loves me, and
I know that you do. But I shall never talk like this to you
again or ever write you another letter. You are my father's
darling, and I want you to remain so, and if you think too much
of me, or spend your time in writing to me, he will find it out,
and that will help neither of us. So good-by, little Cynthia,
and do not be angry that I put a false address at the top of the
page, or refuse to tell you where I live, or where I am going.
From this hour Harriet is dead to you, and nothing shall ever
induce me to break the silence which should remain between us
but my meeting you in another world, where all the follies of
this will be forgotten in the love that has survived both life
and death.
"Your sorrowing but true sister,
"HARRIET."
The date was forty years back, and the address was New York City--an
address which she acknowledged to be false. The letter was without
envelope.
The only other allusion to this sister found in the letters was in a
short note written by a person called Mary, and it ran thus:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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