But as she proceeded farther her spirits seemed to droop again, and she
cast him furtive looks as much as to say:
"Is it right? ought I to be enjoying all this bliss?"
But the smile on his face was so assured, she speedily took courage
again, and allowed him to lead her to the end of the poplar-walk, far up
in those regions where his eye had often strayed but his feet never been
even in fancy. On a certain bench they sat down, and he turned towards
her a beaming face.
"Now I feel as if you were mine," he cried. "Nothing shall part us after
this, not even your own words."
But she put her hands out with a meek, deprecating gesture, very unlike
the imperious one she had indulged in before.
"You must not say that," she cried. "My coming out may have been a
weakness, but it shall not be followed by what you yourself might come
to regard as a wrong. I am here, and it was for your pleasure I came,
but that commits me to nothing and you to nothing, unless it be to the
momentary delight. Do you hear that bird sing?"
"You are lovely with that flickering sunlight on your face," was all the
reply he made.
And perhaps he could have made no better, for it gave her a sweet sense
of helplessness in the presence of this great love, which to a woman who
had been so long bearing herself up in solitary assertion had all the
effect of rest and relief.
"You make me feel as if my youth was not quite gone," said she; "but,"
she added, as his hand stole towards hers, "you have not yet made me
feel that I must listen to all the promptings of love. There is a gulf
between me and you across which we cannot shake hands. But we can speak,
friend, to one another, and that is a pleasure to one who has travelled
so long in a wilderness alone. Shall we not let that content us, or do
you wish to risk life and all by attempting more?"
"I wish to risk everything, anything, so as to make you mine."
"You do not know what you are saying. We are talking pure foolishness,"
was her sudden exclamation, as she leapt to her feet. "Here, in this
pure air, and in sight of the fields and hills, the narrow, confining
bands which have held me to the house seem to lose their power and
partake of the unsubstantiality of a dream. But I know that with my
recrossing of the threshold they will resume their power again, and I
shall wonder I could ever talk of freedom or companionship with one who
does not know the secrets of the house or the shadow which has been cast
by them upon my life."
"You know them, and yet you would go back," he cried. "I should say the
wiser course would be to turn away from a place so fatal to your
happiness and hopes, and, yielding to my entreaties, go with me to the
city, where we will be married, and----"
"Frank, what a love you have for me! a love which questions nothing, not
even my past, notwithstanding I say it is that past which separates us
and makes me the recluse I am."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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