But Emma shook her head, though she could not prevent a certain wistful
look from creeping into her face. "Not what I owe to you," said she, and
then flushed with distress lest her sister should misjudge the meaning
of her words.
But Hermione was in a rarely generous mood. "But I release you from any
promise you have made or any obligations you may consider yourself to be
under. Great heaven! do you think I would hold you to them _now_?"
"I hold myself," cried Emma. "You cannot release me,--except," she
added, with gentle intimation, "by releasing yourself."
"I cannot release myself," moaned Hermione. "If we all perish I cannot
release myself. _I_ am a prisoner to this house, but you----"
"We are sister prisoners," interpolated Emma, softly. Then with a sudden
smile, "I was in hopes that he who led you to break one resolution might
induce you to break another."
But Hermione, flushing with something of her old fire, cried out
warmly: "In going out of the house I broke a promise made to myself, but
in leaving the grounds I should--oh, I cannot tell you what I should do;
not even you know the full bitterness of my life! It is a secret, locked
in this shrinking, tortured heart, which it almost breaks, but does not
quite, or I should not linger in this dreadful world to be a cause of
woe to those I cherish most."
"But Hermione, Hermione----"
"You think you know what has set a seal on my lips, the gloom on my
brow, the death in my heart; but you do not, Emma. You know much, but
not the fatal grief, the irrepressible misery. But you shall know, and
know soon. I have promised to write out the whole history of my life for
Mr. Etheridge, and when he has read it you shall read it too. Perhaps
when you learn what the real horror of this house has been, you may
appreciate the force of will-power which it has taken for me to remain
in it."
Emma, who had never suspected anything in the past beyond what she
herself knew, grew white with fresh dismay. But Hermione, seeing it,
kissed her, and, speaking more lightly, said: "You kept back one vital
secret from me in consideration of what you thought the limit of my
endurance. I have done the same for you under the same consideration.
Now we will equalize matters, and perhaps--who knows?--happier days may
come, if Mr. Etheridge is not too much startled by the revelations I
have to make him, and if Dr. Sellick--do not shrink, Emma--learns some
magnanimity from his friend and will accept the explanations I shall
think it my duty to offer him."
But at this suggestion, so unlike any that had ever come from Hermione's
lips before, the younger sister first stared, and then flung her arms
around the speaker, with cries of soft deprecation and shame.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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