Adultery -- Fiction; Cuba -- Fiction; Runaway husbands -- Fiction
She wasn't, he found, deeply interested in his explanation; she was
careless of anything but the immediate present. Savina never mentioned
William Grove. Animated by countless tender inventive expressions of her
passion, she gave the impression of listening to the inflections of his
voice rather than attending, considering, its meanings. She was more
fully surrendered to the situation than he. The disorganized fragments
of a hundred ideas and hints poured in rapid succession, back of
his dominating emotion, through Lee's brain. He lost himself only in
waves--the similitude to the sea persisted--regular, obliterating, but
separate. Savina was far out in a tideless deep that swept the solidity
of no land.
She was plastically what he willed; blurred, drunk, with sensation, she
sat clasping rigidly the edge of his coat. But his will, he discovered,
was limited: the surges of physical desire, rising and inundating,
saturating him, broke continually and left him with the partly-formed
whirling ideas. He named, to himself, the thing that hung over them;
he considered it and put it away; he deferred the finality of
their emotion. In this he was inferior, he became even slightly
ridiculous--they couldn't continue kissing each other with the same
emphasis hour after hour, and the emphasis could not be indefinitely
multiplied; rather than meet the crescendo he drew into his region of
cental obscurity.
Lee had to do this, he reminded himself, in view of Savina's utter
surrender: he was responsible for whatever happened. Even here his
infernal queerness--that the possession of the flesh wasn't what
primarily moved him--was pursuing him: a peculiarity, he came to think,
dangerously approaching the abnormal. In addition to that, however, he
was not ready, prepared, to involve his future; for that, with Savina
Grove, was most probable to follow. Fanny was by no means absent from
his mind, his wife and certain practical realities. And, as he had told
himself before, he was not a seducer. What adventures he had accepted
had been the minor experiments of his restlessness, and they all ended
in the manner that had finished him with Anette, in dissatisfaction and
a sense of waste.
Savina stirred and sighed. “I must ring for tea,” she said regretfully;
and, while the servant arranged the pots and decanters and pitchers,
the napkins and filled dishes, Lee paced up and down, smoking. When they
were again alone her fingers stole under his arm:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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