Adultery -- Fiction; Cuba -- Fiction; Runaway husbands -- Fiction
Lee Randon was weary without any qualification; the past day,
tomorrow--but it was already today--offered him no more than a burden,
so many heavy hours, to be supported. The last particle of interest had
silently gone from his existence. His condition was entirely different
from the mental disquiet of a month ago; no philosophical considerations
nor abstract ideas absorbed him now--it was a weariness not of the mind
but of the spirit, a complete sterility of imagination and incentive,
as though an announced and coveted prize had been arbitrarily withdrawn
during the struggle it was to have rewarded. There was no reason Lee
could think of for keeping up his diverse efforts. He sat laxly in his
customary corner of the living room--Fanny, he felt, had disposed of
him there as she had the other surrounding objects--his legs thrust out
before him, too negative to smoke.
His wife leaned over and kissed him; she was, she had suddenly
discovered, dead with fatigue. The kiss was no more than the contact of
her lips on his. The clear realization of this startled him; now not
an emotion, not even tenderness, responded to her gestures of love. His
indifference had been absolute! There had been periods of short duration
when, exasperated with Fanny, he had lost the consciousness of his
affection for her; but then he had been filled with other stirred
emotions; and now he was coldly empty of feeling. It was this vacancy
that specially disturbed him: it had an appearance, new to all his
processes, of permanence.
Outside his will the fact was pronounced for him that--for a long or
short period--he had ceased to love his wife. There was something so
intimately and conventionally discourteous in his realization that he
avoided it even in his thoughts. But it would not be ignored; it was too
robust a truth to be suppressed by weakened instincts. He didn't love
Fanny and Fanny did love him ... a condition, he felt indignantly, which
should be automatically provided against; none of the ethics of decency
or conduct provided for that. It wasn't for a second, without the
single, the familiar and ancient, cause, allowed. Fanny, least of any
imaginable woman, had given him a pretext for complaint. Yet, with
everyone acknowledging her to be the perfect wife, and he at the fore
of such praise, he had incontestably stopped caring for her. It was a
detestable situation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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