Historical fiction; Soldiers -- Fiction; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
“I want to tell you how sorry I am for talking like that,” she rushed
on, unheeding. “And to tell you that no man who looks and talks the way
you do was ever a sot or a scoundrel. Weak, maybe. Yes, we all are. But
never bad.”
“Would--would you let me tell you?” he faltered, gripped by a sudden,
overwhelming impulse to make this wonderful little woman his mother
confessor--to tell her what he had never clearly told himself.
She nodded eager, kindly assent.
In a voice at first incoherent, almost broken, but that soon steadied
into narrative force, Dad told the whole pitiful tale.
He did not strive for effect. He spared no needful detail. He spoke as
though of a third person; calmly, impartially.
When the story of his Mexican disgrace was done, he went on to tell her
of his homecoming, his futile life for the past fourteen years, his
continued degradation, the sordid surroundings, the unworthy
hopelessness of it all.
Only when he spoke of Jimmie did an unconscious softness and a thrill of
pride come into the deep voice.
He told of his son’s departure for the front, the bedside talk with
Jimmie in the moonlight, the escape from Ideala, the kneeling vigil on
the hill-top where he had forever shaken off his dead self. Of his later
army achievements he said little.
It was twilight now, all over the battle world. The long twilight of
early summer. And in the attic darkness left the faces of the man and
woman visible only as dim white rifts in the gloom.
Presently Dad’s deep voice ceased. There was a hush; through which the
far-off throb of a complaining whippoorwill, from down in the
bottom-lands, by the river, came to their ears.
Mrs. Sessions had drawn insensibly closer to the speaker as the story
progressed. But she had not once interrupted. Nor, now that the tale was
done, did she speak.
“Now you know it all,” he said, breaking the long silence. “And I
suppose you’re as disgusted with me as I am with myself. As General
Scott was when I--”
He caught his breath with a gasp. Something in falling had touched the
back of his outflung hand.
Something tiny, and stingingly hot--a tear!
“Mrs. Sessions!” he exclaimed in wonder.
“I--I’m not given to blubbering,” she answered, choking back her sobs.
“I didn’t know I was doing it. Oh, you poor, _poor_ dear!”
“You don’t despise me, after all I’ve told you about--”
“Despise you?” she echoed, almost shrilly. “_Despise_ you? Listen to me,
sergeant! Any man can strut around, pompouslike, on the top of the
mountain if he was born up there or boosted up there. But the man who
can _climb_ there--as you’ve done--who can climb there out of the mire
and muck that he’s been shoved down into; that man’s a--a _man_! And the
mud on his garments comes pretty close to looking like royal ermine.
“I’m talking like a schoolgirl that reads novels. But it’s all true.
Sergeant Brinton, I’d like to shake you by the hand, please. I wish Ehud
was here to do it, too!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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