England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Guardian and ward -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction
"Alas, no," he replied, a little passionately, "and there too is the
mischief. Oh! Daisy, be merciful! Give nothing if you cannot give all. Be
at once all ice, and torment me no more with the calm serenity which is
never coldness. Do you know how often you have made me burn to remind
you, that though I was no one to you, you might be some one to me; that
you have made me long for the sting of indifference and pride; for a
familiarity less tender, for a tenderness less dangerous? Do you know
that if your affection has been too calm for love, it has been very
ardent for mere friendship; that it has possessed the perilous charm of
passion and purity; passion which would be divine if it could but be
pure; purity which, if it were but ardent, would be irresistibly
alluring. You have tormented me almost beyond endurance, then when I gave
up hope, you have suddenly said and done the kindest things maiden ever
said or did. You have deserted me and returned to me, embraced me with
the careless confidence of a sister, spoken with the tenderness of a
mistress, and perplexed me beyond all mortal knowledge. But why do I
speak as if this were over? Daisy! you perplex me still. This very
evening have you not declared that you care for no other, then almost as
plainly said you cared not for me. Have you not heard me tell you how
warmly I love you, yet have you not asked me to stay here in this house
ever near you? Nay, though I speak now from the very fulness of my heart,
do you not stand, your hand in mine, listening to me with patient, quiet
grace? I dare not hope, I will not quite despair; I can do neither, for I
protest, Daisy, that you are still to me a riddle and a mystery, and that
whether you love him or love him not, is more than Cornelius O'Reilly can
tell."
Cornelius had said all this without a pause of rest: he spoke with the
daring rapidity of passion which tarries not for words, but with many an
eloquent change of look, tone, and accent. I had heard him with throbbing
bosom and burning brow. For the first time I was addressed in the
language of love, and the voice that spoke was very dear to me. Answer I
could not. I stood before him, listening to tones that had ceased, but
that still echoed in my heart. When he confessed, however, that he did
not know whether or not I loved him, an involuntary smile stole over my
face, and this he was very quick to see; his look, keen and searching,
sought mine; his face, eager and flushed, was bent over me.
"Look at me, Daisy," he said, quickly.
I looked up, smiling still; for I thought to myself, "I love him, but he
shall not know it just yet." But as I looked, a change of feeling came
over my heart. I remembered the past, his long goodness, his patient,
devoted love, and I could not take my eyes away.
"Well," he said, uneasily, "why do you look at me so strangely? My face
is not new to you, Daisy. You have had time to know it all these years."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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