JARVIS. (_Pulling out bills._) A few of our usual cards of compliment, that's all. This bill from your tailor; this from your mercer; and this from the little broker in Crooked-lane. He says he has been at a great deal of trouble to get back the money you borrowed. HONEYW. That I don't know; but I am sure we were at a great deal of trouble in getting him to lend it. JARVIS. He has lost all patience. HONEYW. Then he has lost a very good thing. JARVIS. There's that ten guineas you were sending to the poor gentleman and his children in the Fleet. I believe that would stop his mouth for a while at least. HONEYW. Ay, Jarvis, but what will fill their mouths in the meantime? Must I be cruel because he happens to be importunate; and, to relieve his avarice, leave them to insupportable distress? JARVIS. 'Sdeath, sir, the question now is, how to relieve yourself. Yourself—Haven't I reason to be out of my senses, when I see things going at sixes and sevens? HONEYW. Whatever reason you may have for being out of your senses, I hope you'll allow that I'm not quite unreasonable for continuing in mine. JARVIS. You're the only man alive in your present situation that could do so—Every thing upon the waste. There's Miss Richland and her fine fortune gone already, and upon the point of being given to your rival. HONEYW. I'm no man's rival. JARVIS. Your uncle in Italy preparing to disinherit you; your own fortune almost spent; and nothing but pressing creditors, false friends, and a pack of drunken servants that your kindness has made unfit for any other family. HONEYW. Then they have the more occasion for being in mine. JARVIS. So! What will you have done with him that I caught stealing your plate in the pantry? In the fact; I caught him in the fact. HONEYW. In the fact? If so, I really think that we should pay him his wages, and turn him off. JARVIS. He shall be turned off at Tyburn, the dog; we'll hang him, if it be only to frighten the rest of the family. HONEYW. No, Jarvis: it's enough that we have lost what he has stolen, let us not add to the loss of a fellow-creature. JARVIS. Very fine; well, here was the footman just now, to complain of the butler; he says he does most work, and ought to have most wages. HONEYW. That's but just: though perhaps here comes the butler to complain of the footman. JARVIS. Ay, it's the way with them all, from the scullion to the privy-counsellor. If they have a bad master, they keep quarrelling with him; if they have a good master they keep quarrelling with one another. _Enter_ BUTLER _drunk_. BUTLER. Sir, I'll not stay in the family with Jonathan: you must part with him, or part with me, that's the ex-ex-position of the matter, sir. HONEYW. Full and explicit enough. But what's his fault, good Phillip? BUTLER. Sir, he's given to drinking, sir, and I shall have my morals corrupted, by keeping such company. HONEYW. Ha! ha! he has such a diverting way—