CROAKER. A pleasant morning to Mr. Honeywood, and many of them. How is
this? You look most shockingly to-day, my dear friend. I hope this
weather does not affect your spirits. To be sure, if this weather
continues—I say nothing—but God send we be all better this day three
months.
[Illustration:
"CROAKER.—_A pleasant morning to Mr. Honeywood._"—_p._ 272.
]
HONEYW. I heartily concur in the wish, though, I own, not in your
apprehensions.
CROAKER. May be not. Indeed, what signifies what weather we have, in a
country going to ruin like ours? Taxes rising and trade falling. Money
flying out of the kingdom, and Jesuits swarming into it. I know at this
time no less than a hundred and twenty-seven Jesuits between
Charing-cross and Temple-bar.
HONEYW. The Jesuits will scarce pervert you or me, I should hope?
CROAKER. May be not. Indeed what signifies whom they pervert in a
country that has scarce any religion to lose? I'm only afraid for our
wives and daughters.
HONEYW. I have no apprehensions for the ladies, I assure you.
CROAKER. May be not. Indeed what signifies whether they be perverted or
not? The women in my time were good for something. I have seen a lady
dressed from top to toe in her own manufactures formerly. But
now-a-days the devil a thing of their own manufacture about them,
except their faces.
HONEYW. But, however these faults may be practised abroad, you don't
find them at home, either with Mrs. Croaker, Olivia, or Miss Richland.
CROAKER. The best of them will never be canonised for a saint when
she's dead. By the by, my dear friend, I don't find this match between
Miss Richland and my son much relished, either by one side or t'other.
HONEYW. I thought otherwise.
CROAKER. Ah, Mr. Honeywood, a little of your fine serious advice to the
young lady might go far: I know she has a very exalted opinion of your
understanding.
HONEYW. But would not that be usurping an authority that more properly
belongs to yourself?
CROAKER. My dear friend, you know but little of my authority at home.
People think, indeed, because they see me come out in a morning thus,
with a pleasant face, and to make my friends merry, that all's well
within. But I have cares that would break a heart of stone. My wife has
so encroached upon every one of my privileges, that I'm now no more
than a mere lodger in my own house.
HONEYW. But a little spirit exerted on your side might perhaps restore
your authority.
CROAKER. No, though I had the spirit of a lion. I do rouse sometimes.
But what then? always haggling and haggling. A man is tired of getting
the better, before his wife is tired of losing the victory.
HONEYW. It's a melancholy consideration indeed, that our chief comforts
often produce our greatest anxieties, and that an increase of our
possessions is but an inlet to new disquietudes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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