“You are right. I hope you are as grateful as I am that I can’t. I’d
be bored to extinction with the ordinary state called ‘marital bliss,’
either with a man who doted upon me or one upon whom I doted. Fact
is----” Bending closer to the glass, she focused into the twin pair of
eyes a look of assured capability, “I never did care for you. Lately
I quite dislike you. You are, you know, superior. I don’t wish to be
superior myself and I resent people who are. There now! You say you
like honesty--won’t you give me a good mark?”
With one of her unaccountable transitions, her manner changed from
frank spite to pathos. Brushing her hand across her eyes, as if to hide
from him any sign of the feeling to which she had declared herself
immune, she crossed to the window and leaned, looking out, against the
effective background of its bronze hanging.
“No, my only husband--the answer is no.” The cynicism in what she
said was weakened by the way she said it. “I’m sorry to refuse any
little request of yours, but I cannot give you up. And I don’t think,
really, that you have been quite nice. Since the challenge was to
come from you, you might have been heroic enough to let me name the
weapons--swords or pistols, you know--that impossible Reno or New York.
Don’t you think yourself that you have added insult to injury?”
He did not dignify the appeal with a reply. He was about to go; had
bowed to her formally and was crossing to the door.
“John, dear.”
Her quavery cry stopped him on the threshold.
She followed him and stood with her gold-gloried head hung low over her
twisting hands. “You say I have lost all kindness, John. I think _you_
have. You are not what you used to be, any more than am I. You haven’t
had a thought for me in what you ask. Perhaps a man cannot realize what
it means to a woman to--to be faced with a demand like yours of to-day.
For me to divorce you for deserting me--to admit to our world that you
have tired of me---- Even supposing there is nothing to me but what you
say, don’t you know that would crucify my vanity? But there is more to
me, John. I once _was_ that kitten-girl you thought me. At times--even
yet--I have my softer feelings. I am used to compliments and I--I am
hurt to the heart by your insult.”
John did not take advantage of her pause. He continued to wait and
wonder.
“I see far less beautiful women than I being understood and
appreciated,” she continued after a quivering sigh. “Is it too much
that I ask to be endured? And yet, I don’t want to ask that--I really
don’t. I want you to be happy, but---- Oh, John, why couldn’t you have
waited until I’d recovered? What with the accident and poor Jack’s
death and the funeral and now _this_, I feel that I’ve had almost more
than I can stand. To-day my head aches until----”
Again she paused. And again he did not speak.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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