Boarding schools -- England -- Fiction; Boys -- Fiction
Maddox put his heel into the fire to make a level place for his kettle,
and sat down again to work. But other thoughts kept interposing
themselves between him and his books, claiming precedence. He knew from
David’s abrupt exit just now that he scented danger, or, if that was too
strong an image, just turned his back on the miry road that had been in
Maddox’s mind, and his getting Bags to do the forgotten errand confirmed
that. Vaguely, perhaps, David had guessed something of the nature of
that muddy place, and had gone clean-footed from it. With much greater
sureness Maddox saw that, if their friendship was to continue, he must
turn his back on it too, and convince David that he had done so. He was
ashamed: he hated himself.
The kettle boiled over, sending a puff of steam and light ash into the
grate, and he took it off and put it in the fender. And still he sat
there, looking backwards into his life and finding no comfort there; and
then looking forwards, seeing a gleam of saving hope. At last outside
his study there came a familiar step, but there was no whistling, and
after the step paused there came a tap at his door. David entered,
looking shy and frightened.
“Oh, I came to clear your things away and wash up,” he said hurriedly.
Maddox did not want to shirk what lay before him. The friendship that
had become so intimately dear to him was at stake.
“Will you shut the door a minute, David?” he said, rising and standing
by the mantel-piece, with his face turned away.
David did so, and remained by the door.
“I want to say just one thing,” said Maddox. “I’m damned sorry, and I
apologise. You needn’t be frightened of me. It shan’t happen again.
That’s all. There’s nothing to wash up: I haven’t had tea.”
Some subconscious horror still lingered in David’s mind. He had been
obliged to come back here, to see to Maddox’s washing-up, else perhaps
Maddox would have sent for him, and that would have been worse. At the
moment he had no other desire, in spite of what Maddox had said, but to
get away.
“I’ll go then,” he said quickly.
“All right.”
David left the room, but he had gone only a little way down the passage
outside, when his feet simply refused to carry him any farther, or to
allow him to leave Maddox like this. All his love and his loyalty
insisted that he was wrong not to trust the regret and the assurance
that had been given him, that he was doing a mean and cowardly thing to
retreat like that. But the talk that he had had with the Head on his
last day at Helmsworth was very vivid in his mind; the Head had told him
there was no use in arguing about certain things, and his instinct, in
spite of his innocence, told him that such, vaguely and distantly, were
the things about which the Head had spoken. But the Head had never told
him to turn his back on a friend, or to refuse to trust that which his
heart knew was sincere. And so once more from inside Maddox heard a
familiar step return and once more David tapped and entered.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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