He was ashamed of himself, as he uttered the false words to the
true-hearted child. But this, alas! was not the end of it all.
Desirous of learning the language, but far more desirous of commending
himself to Euphra, Hugh began in downright earnest. That very evening, he
felt that he had a little hold of the language. Harry was left to his own
resources. Nor was there any harm in this in itself: Hugh had a right to
part of every day for his own uses. But then, he had been with Harry
almost every evening, or a great part of it, and the boy missed him much;
for he was not yet self-dependent. He would have gone to Euphrasia, but
somehow she happened to be engaged that evening. So he took refuge in the
library, where, in the desolation of his spirit, Polexander began, almost
immediately, to exercise its old dreary fascination upon him. Although he
had not opened the book since Hugh had requested him to put it away, yet
he had not given up the intention of finishing it some day; and now he
took it down, and opened it listlessly, with the intention of doing
something towards the gradual redeeming of the pledge he had given to
himself. But he found it more irksome than ever. Still he read on; till at
length he could discover no meaning at all in the sentences. Then he began
to doubt whether he had read the words. He fixed his attention by main
force on every individual word; but even then he began to doubt whether he
could say he had read the words, for he might have missed seeing some of
the letters composing each word. He grew so nervous and miserable over it,
almost counting every letter, that at last he burst into tears, and threw
the book down.
His intellect, which in itself was excellent, was quite of the parasitic
order, requiring to wind itself about a stronger intellect, to keep itself
in the region of fresh air and possible growth. Left to itself, its weak
stem could not raise it above the ground: it would grow and mass upon the
earth, till it decayed and corrupted, for lack of room, light, and air.
But, of course, there was no danger in the meantime. This was but the
passing sadness of an occasional loneliness.
He crept to Hugh’s room, and received an invitation to enter, in answer to
his gentle knock; but Hugh was so absorbed in his new study, that he
hardly took any notice of him, and Harry found it almost as dreary here as
in the study. He would have gone out, but a drizzling rain was falling;
and he shrank into himself at the thought of the Ghost’s Walk. The
dinner-bell was a welcome summons.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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