I have done nothing good to win belief, My life hath been so faithless;
all the creatures Made for heaven’s honours, have their ends, and good
ones; All but... false women... When they die, like tales Ill-told, and
unbelieved, they pass away.
I will redeem one minute of my age, Or, like another Niobe, I’ll weep Till
I am water.
BEAUMONT AND FLETCHER.—The Maid’s Tragedy.
The days passed quickly by; and the last evening that Hugh was to spend at
Arnstead arrived. He wandered out alone. He had been with Harry all day,
and now he wished for a few moments of solitude. It was a lovely autumn
evening. He went into the woods behind the house. The leaves were still
thick upon the trees, but most of them had changed to gold, and brown, and
red; and the sweet faint odours of those that had fallen, and lay thick
underfoot, ascended like a voice from the grave, saying: “Here dwelleth
some sadness, but no despair.” As he strolled about among them, the whole
history of his past life arose before him. This often happens before any
change in our history, and is surest to take place at the approach of the
greatest change of all, when we are about to pass into the unknown, whence
we came.
In this mood, it was natural that his sins should rise before him. They
came as the shadows of his best pleasures. For now, in looking back, he
could fix on no period of his history, around which the aureole, which
glorifies the sacred things of the past, had gathered in so golden a hue,
as around the memory of the holy cottage, the temple in which abode David,
and Janet, and Margaret. All the story glided past, as the necromantic
Will called up the sleeping dead in the mausoleum of the brain. And that
solemn, kingly, gracious old man, who had been to him a father, he had
forgotten; the homely tenderness which, from fear of its own force,
concealed itself behind a humorous roughness of manner, he had—no,
not despised—but forgotten, too; and if the dim pearly loveliness of
the trustful, grateful maiden had not been quite forgotten, yet she too
had been neglected, had died, as it were, and been buried in the
churchyard of the past, where the grass grows long over the graves, and
the moss soon begins to fill up the chiselled records. He was ungrateful.
He dared not allow to himself that he was unloving; but he must confess
himself ungrateful.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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