This letter certainly touched Hugh. But he could not help feeling rather
offended that David should write to him in such a warning tone. He had
never addressed him in this fashion when he saw him every day. Indeed,
David could not very easily have spoken to him thus. But writing is a
different thing; and men who are not much accustomed to use a pen, often
assume a more solemn tone in doing so, as if it were a ceremony that
required state. As for David, having been a little uneasy about Hugh, and
not much afraid of offending him—for he did not know his weaknesses
very thoroughly, and did not take into account the effect of the very
falling away which he dreaded, in increasing in him pride, and that
impatience of the gentlest reproof natural to every man—he felt
considerably relieved after he had discharged his duty in this memento
vivere. But one of the results, and a very unexpected one, was, that a yet
longer period elapsed before Hugh wrote again to David. He meant to do so,
and meant to do so; but, as often as the thought occurred to him, was
checked both by consciousness and by pride. So much contributes, not the
evil alone that is in us, but the good also sometimes, to hold us back
from doing the thing we ought to do.
It now remained for Hugh to look about for some occupation. The state of
his funds rendered immediate employment absolutely necessary; and as there
was only one way in which he could earn money without yet further
preparation, he must betake himself to that way, as he had done before, in
the hope that it would lead to something better. At all events, it would
give him time to look about him, and make up his mind for the future. Many
a one, to whom the occupation of a tutor is far more irksome than it was
to Hugh, is compelled to turn his acquirements to this immediate account;
and, once going in this groove, can never get out of it again. But Hugh
was hopeful enough to think, that his reputation at the university would
stand him in some stead; and, however much he would have disliked the
thought of being a tutor all his days, occupying a kind of neutral
territory between the position of a gentleman and that of a menial, he had
enough of strong Saxon good sense to prevent him, despite his Highland
pride, from seeing any great hardship in labouring still for a little
while, as he had laboured hitherto. But he hoped to find a situation more
desirable than either of those he had occupied before; and, with this
expectation, looked towards the South, as most Scotchmen do, indulging the
national impulse to spoil the Egyptians. Nor did he look long, sending his
tentacles afloat in every direction, before he heard, through means of a
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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