Humorous stories; Reporters and reporting -- Fiction; Women authors -- Fiction
“Coffee?” asked Blackie, turning to me. I nodded.
“Zweimal Kaffee?” beamed Roschen, grasping the idea.
“Now’s your time to speak up,” urged Blackie. “Go ahead an’ order all
the cream gefillte things that looked good to you out in front.”
But I leaned forward, lowering my voice discreetly. “Blackie, before I
plunge in too recklessly, tell me, are their prices very—”
“Sa-a-ay, child, you just can’t spend half a dollar here if you try.
The flossiest kind of thing they got is only ten cents a order. They’ll
smother you in whipped cream f’r a quarter. You c’n come in here an’
eat an’ eat an’ put away piles of cakes till you feel like a
combination of Little Jack Horner an’ old Doc Johnson. An’ w’en you’re
all through, they hand yuh your check, an’, say—it says forty-five
cents. You can’t beat it, so wade right in an’ spoil your complexion.”
With enthusiasm I turned upon the patient Rosie. “O, bring me some of
those cunning little round things with the cream on ’em, you know—two
of those, eh Blackie? And a couple of those with the flaky crust and
the custard between, and a slice of that fluffy-looking cake and some
of those funny cocked-hat shaped cookies—”
But a pall of bewilderment was slowly settling over Rosie’s erstwhile
smiling face. Her plump shoulders went up in a helpless shrug, and she
turned her round blue eyes appealingly to Blackie.
“Was meint sie alles?” she asked.
So I began all over again, with the assistance of Blackie. We went into
minute detail. We made elaborate gestures. We drew pictures of our
desired goodies on the marble-topped table, using a soft-lead pencil.
Rosie’s countenance wore a distracted look. In desperation I was about
to accompany her to the crowded shop, there to point out my chosen
dainties when suddenly, as they would put it here, a light went her
over.
“Ach, yes-s-s-s! Sie wollten vielleicht abgeruhrter Gugelhopf haben,
und auch Schaumtorte, und Bismarcks, und Hornchen mit cream gefullt,
nicht?”
“Certainly,” I murmured, quite crushed. Roschen waddled merrily off to
the shop.
Blackie was rolling a cigarette. He ran his funny little red tongue
along the edge of the paper and glanced up at me in glee. “Don’t bother
about me,” he generously observed. “Just set still and let the
atmosphere soak in.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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