Humorous stories; Reporters and reporting -- Fiction; Women authors -- Fiction
We had decided the prettiest of the new gowns must do honor to the
occasion. “This shade is called ashes of roses,” I explained, as I
slipped it over her head.
“Ashes of roses!” she echoed. “How pretty, yes? But a little sad too,
is it not so? Like rosy hopes that have been withered. Ach, what a
foolish talk! So, now you will fasten it please. A real trick it is to
button such a dress—so sly they are, those fastenings.”
When all the sly fastenings were secure I stood at gaze.
“Nose is shiny,” I announced, searching in a drawer for chamois and
powder.
Frau Nirlanger raised an objecting hand. “But Konrad does not approve
of such things. He has said so. He has—”
“You tell your Konrad that a chamois skin isn’t half as objectionable
as a shiny one. Come here and let me dust this over your nose and chin,
while I breathe a prayer of thanks that I have no overzealous husband
near to forbid me the use of a bit of powder. There! If I sez it mesilf
as shouldn’t, yez ar-r-re a credit t’ me, me darlint.”
“You are satisfied. There is not one small thing awry? Ach, how we
shall laugh at Konrad’s face.”
“Satisfied! I’d kiss you if I weren’t afraid that I should muss you up.
You’re not the same woman. You look like a girl! And so pretty! Now
skedaddle into your own rooms, but don’t you dare to sit down for a
moment. I’m going down to get Frau Knapf before your husband arrives.”
“But is there then time?” inquired Frau Nirlanger. “He should be here
now.”
“I’ll bring her up in a jiffy, just for one peep. She won’t know you!
Her face will be a treat! Don’t touch your hair—it’s quite perfect. And
f’r Jawn’s sake! Don’t twist around to look at yourself in the back or
something will burst, I know it will. I’ll be back in a minute. Now
run!”
The slender, graceful figure disappeared with a gay little laugh, and I
flew downstairs for Frau Knapf. She was discovered with a spoon in one
hand and a spluttering saucepan in the other. I detached her from them,
clasped her big, capable red hands and dragged her up the stairs,
explaining as I went.
“Now don’t fuss about that supper! Let ’em wait. You must see her
before Herr Nirlanger comes home. He’s due any minute. She looks like a
girl. So young! And actually pretty! And her figure—divine! Funny what
a difference a decent pair of corsets, and a gown, and some puffs will
make, h’m?”
Frau Knapf was panting as I pulled her after me in swift eagerness.
Between puffs she brought out exclamations of surprise and unbelief
such as: “Unmoglich! (Puff! Puff!) Aber—wunderbar! (Puff! Puff!)”
We stopped before Frau Nirlanger’s door. I struck a dramatic pose.
“Prepare!” I cried grandly, and threw open the door with a bang.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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