All her life she had been a woman of iron will. She had made herself
and every one except her husband bend to it. She summoned it now. She
would try. She would make one supreme effort to right the great wrong
of her life. If in the other world to which she knew she was going in a
few short hours there was opportunity to meet the husband she had loved
as she had loved nothing else on earth besides herself, she would like
to tell him that she had tried—that at the last hour she had tried to
make some amends.
With the extraordinary strength which mind sometimes gives to body at
times of great necessity, as in cases of soldiers mortally wounded
fighting to the end, the woman crawled out of the bed and dragged
herself over to the desk. Her eyes were bright with her great purpose
and blazed like sunken fires. Her gray, thin hair straggled down upon
the collar of the old dressing-gown she had put on when first taken
sick. She seized her quill pen and a sheet of paper that lay there, and
with cramped, shaking hand wrote, "Dawn is here," and signed her name,
"Maria Van Rensselaer." The scrawl was almost unreadable, but she dared
not try to write it over. She dared not add another word. Her time was
short. Her strength already was failing. She had yet to get the
message into some one’s hands. Perhaps even now she would fail. She
crushed the folds together with her cold fingers, wrote "Charles
Winthrop" and the address, and then tottered across the room to the
door. She almost fell as she reached the stair-landing. The dizzy,
blinding blackness that seemed pressing upon her almost overwhelmed her.
She felt the pain and torment surging back, but she fought it off and
would not yield. This was her last chance to make amends—her last
chance. She said it over to herself as she clung to the banisters and
got down the stairs clumsily. If Dawn had been in the house, she must
have heard her.
It looked like miles to the front gate as the sick woman came out on the
piazza, but somehow she got there—a queer, ghastly figure of death,
clinging to the gate-post, with a letter and a purse in her hand.
In the distance she saw a negro approaching. He was scuttling along
with a frightened gait, as if he wished to hurry through the street.
She felt her strength going. If she could only stand up till he reached
her! It seemed to her hours before he came to the gate. She had kept
back out of sight, instinctively feeling he would be scared away if he
saw her.
"Take that to the post office or God will punish you!" she said, in the
deep, hoarse voice the disease had given her, and thrust the letter and
the purse upon him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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