English fiction -- 20th century; English wit and humor; Imaginary letters; Letters in literature
I was glad to go to my room, so as to have plenty of time to make
my toilet, because they had told me the English are so exact. I
disembarrass myself of my things and put on a dressing-gown. I lie
down, and presently I hear cries from the garden; I look out of the
window and I see in the distance they are playing at croquet with great
gaiety. I am almost tempted to go downstairs once more, but as I am
already undressed I have not the energy; so I remain in my room and
read a book, and at half-past seven my maid comes, so that I was ready
almost before half-past eight, the dinner hour. When the dinner gong
rang, and I left my room to descend, some of the men were only just
coming in from the garden. I was the first downstairs.
There was no one in the salon except the little man with the
_pince-nez_. He said nothing at all at first, but after five minutes
he said he was glad it had stopped raining, and after that not a word.
We did not sit down at table until nine. Sir Arlington gave me the
arm, and on the other side was an oldish distinguished man with well
cut features, _très bien_, with good manners, but so devoted to his
neighbouress that he paid no attention to me. She was a beauty, but
dressed, it is inconceivable! _Fagotée, ma chère!_ If you could have
seen it! It was to cry about! Her dress was made in Paris too, but all
put on anyhow.
Sir Arlington is a delicious gentleman, but _distrait_; he cares only
for birds and animals, and often undertakes long expeditions for sport
in Africa. I asked him who all the people were, and imagine, he had
no idea who was the small man with the _pince-nez_, or several of the
others. He said: “Those are my wife’s literary friends; they are very
nice, but too clever for me.” He is modest, like all the Englishmen.
Lady Arlington has, it appears, the mania for _hommes de lettres_ as
well as for music, gardening, and a thousand other things, although,
between us, she is _une sotte--bête comme une oie et poseuse_! and
always making exaggerated exclamations, such as How thrilling! How
darling! and always in ecstasy about nothing. I talked with Sir
Arlington nearly all dinner, as my other neighbour was so occupied.
There was no general conversation, and we were twenty-two at table.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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