English fiction -- 20th century; English wit and humor; Imaginary letters; Letters in literature
On arriving at St. Petersburg I went straight to the Summer Palace. I
was told that the Czar had gone to Cronstot. He had left orders that
I was to follow him thither as soon as I arrived, in a snow which was
waiting to convey the Dutch Minister. It was a fine, sultry day when
we started from St. Petersburg. I was much impressed by the sight of
the city, which possesses already many thousands of houses and some
fine churches and palaces. We started with a fair wind, but soon a
storm arose, and our condition was the more perilous owing to the
lack of experience of the captain and the mate. The Dutch Minister
was prostrate with sea-sickness, and upon his asking whether there
was any chance of escape--and he seemed, such were his pains, to hope
for a negative answer--the captain, who was facing the emergency by
doing nothing at all, kept on repeating in a soothing voice the word
_Nichevo_ (which means “all is well”) “we shall arrive.” All seemed
to be very far from well. The mate, when consulted, folded his hands
together and said _Bog Znaet_, which means “God knows.” At last, after
two days and three nights, which we spent without fire or provisions,
we arrived at Cronstot. We were forthwith bidden to the Czar’s
pleasure-house, Peterhof, on the coast of Ingria, whither a fair wind
took us without further mishap.
We were at once taken into the Czar’s presence. Anything less like the
state and formal etiquette of Paris, Berlin, or Madrid, it would be
difficult to imagine. To speak of the simplicity of the Czar would
be to understate my meaning. He seemed to be divested not only of the
formality of sovereigns, but of the ordinary convention and reserve
which unwittingly hang over every human being like a cloak. He greeted
us as if he had known us all his life, and as if he were continuing a
conversation but lately interrupted. His dress--which was dark, plain,
and sober--his demeanour, his manner, were not only free from all trace
of pomp but would have struck one as simple in a common sailor. And yet
the overwhelming mastery and intelligence and power of the man were
instantly apparent in the swiftness of his look and the stamp of his
countenance. It was clear from the first moment that he was a man who
went straight to the point and had the knack of eliminating and casting
aside the unessential and the superfluous with the quick decision with
which a skilful gardener removes dead flowers from a tree with his
garden knife.
This was evident when speaking of the concern he had felt for us owing
to the storm. The Dutch Minister launched out into a diffuse narrative.
The Czar at once seized on the essential fact that the skipper was
incapable and deftly changed the subject, keeping the garrulous
Minister charmed all the while. He welcomed me to Russia and said that
he had been awaiting my arrival with impatience, as he had much work
for me to do. “But we will talk of that later,” he said, “at present
you must be hungry.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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