The perfumers, the keepers of the “emporiums and bazaars of fashion,” the manufacturers of the “best genuine bears’ grease,” of the “incomparable Macassar Oils”—of the “Kalydors”—of “Les Cosmetiques Royales”—of the “Red and White Olympian Dews,” and other prodigiously grand and etymological titles “breathing the spirit of patriotic rivalry,” have all exerted their respective wits in the art of economising expense and “saving a penny.” In fact the tooth-powders, the dentrifices, the ottars of roses, the musks, the cosmetics, the lotions, the balsams, the Hungary waters, the Eaus de Cologne, as well as all the other frenchified _eaus_, the _milks_ and _creams_ of roses, the pomades divines, the blooms, the pearl-waters, the lip-salves, the perfumes,—the Naples almond and beautifying soaps,—the cephalic, Macouba, and other-hard named snuffs, are all vile sophistications, and (to omit speaking of their injurious properties to the health and the skin,) contain but little of the ingredients of which the artists profess that they are made. On this subject I shall address myself especially to my fair readers: craving leave to premise, that it is strange that British ladies, to whom Nature has been so bountiful, should destroy their native charms and have recourse to the wretched substitutes of art, which ARE DESTRUCTIVE OF BEAUTY, and PRODUCE REAL DEFORMITY. As many ladies attempt to improve their complexions by the use of the pernicious cosmetics, which are continually and unblushingly advertised as beautifiers of the skin, most of which are either worthless or dangerous, (for if they have any effect, it is that of conveying mercury, lead, or bismuth into the system, and too frequently laying the foundation of diseases which are often dangerous, and sometimes fatal;) I cannot refrain from advising those “fair ones” who have been in the habit of using trash of so villainous a nature, that if they have any of it by them, to throw it away at once, and to be persuaded that the best cosmetics are exercise in the open air, an active attention to social and domestic duties, regular hours of repose at night, and cheerful hilarity and tranquility of mind, and that those cheap and WHOLESOME remedies will not, as the author of “THE TOILETTE COMPANION” well observes, fail to animate their countenances and beautify their complexions beyond the blooms and the balsams, the Grecian and the Egyptian Waters, the Kalydors and the Macassar Oils, the Gowland’s Lotions and the Pearl Powders, the Cosmetiques Royales, the Red and White Olympian Dews, the Essences, the Eaus, and the Pomades Divines, the Essences Apolloniennes or Tyrian, and the Tonic Wines, and all the other puffed and delusive nostrums, that knavery, cupidity, and effrontery, have ever palmed upon a credulous public, by which dull and lustreless eyes, sallow and shrivelled skins, lifeless and cloudy complexions, and impaired and ruined health, are infallibly