"My dear friend," replied he, "such is the price at which we are admitted into the Society of Jesuits. It is necessary to do many things to which we may be naturally averse, many things contrary to our nature, and even to our conscience." (And here a sigh betrayed the anxiety he felt.) "You will perhaps ask, why I remained among the Jesuits, before I had received my degree? I can understand the question. But you, who are now a theologian and a preacher, turn to the 7th chapter of the Epistle of St. Paul to the Romans, where the apostle laments his own state, speaking of himself: 'For the good that I would, I do not; but the evil which I would not, that I do;' and concludes with that memorable exclamation, 'wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?' I can assure you that more than once I have proposed to myself to quit the Society while I had yet power to do so; and then a thousand thoughts came into my mind:--What will they say of me, if I leave the Society which hitherto has been as a mother to me? I shall have to endure the remorse of one who, as it is written, 'has put his hand to the plough, and has looked back;' and on account of my dereliction I shall be adjudged unworthy of the kingdom of heaven! I desired so much to become a Jesuit, that I abandoned, as you know, my chair at the Sapienza, and gave up my inheritance to my brothers; I bade adieu to all the world, and buried myself in this cloak, which I have now worn for fifteen years. How was it possible to retrace my steps, to disclaim my own words, to give the lie to myself? Ah, my friend, I pray you may never repent having assumed your present habit, that you may never experience the regret I have endured! But all this has passed away. I am now a Jesuit, fixed in my vocation. In taking my last vows, I have sworn to die in my Order. Nothing can now alter my determination."