In one way George loved the grey sea and barrenness, in another way he
hated them. To get away to the lush inland country was a release, an
ecstasy, the more precious in that it happened so rarely. When he was
a small child, a maid-servant took him “down home” to the hop-picking.
Confused and fantastic memories of it remained with him. He never
forgot the penetrating sunlight, the long dusty ride in the horse-bus,
the sensation of hot sharp-scented shadow under the tall vines, the joy
of the great rustling heaps falling downward as the foreman cut the
strings, the tenderness of the rough women hop-pickers, the taste of
the smoky picnic tea and heavy soggy cake (so delicious!) they gave him.
Later—in the fourteen-sixteen years—it was a joy to visit the
Hambles. They were retired professional people, who lived in a remote
country house among lush meadows and rich woods. Mr. Hamble was a
large, freckly man who collected insects, and was a skilled botanist;
and thus charmed that side of George. But the real delight was the lush
countryside—and Priscilla. Priscilla was the Hambles’ daughter, almost
exactly George’s age; and between those two was a curious, intense,
childish passion. She was very golden and pretty; much too pretty, for
it made her self-conscious and flirtatious. But the passion between
those two children was a genuine thing. A pity that this sort of
Daphnis and Chloe passion is not allowed free physical expression under
our puling obscene conventions. There was always something a little
frustrated in both George and Priscilla because the timidity and false
modesty imposed on them prevented the natural physical expression. For
quite three years George was under the influence of his passion for
Priscilla, never really forgot her, always in a dim, dumb, subconscious
way felt the frustration. Like all passions it was something fugitive,
the product of a phase, but it ought not to have been frustrated. It
was a pity they were so often separated, because that meant infinite
letter-writing; and so made him always tend to too much idealizing
and intellectualizing in love affairs. But when they were together it
was pure happiness. Priscilla was a very demure and charming little
mistress. They played all sorts of games with other children, and
went fishing in the brook, picked flowers in the rich water-meadows,
hunted bird-nests along the hedges. All these things, great fun in
themselves, were so much more fun because Priscilla was there, because
they held hands and kissed, and felt very serious, like real lovers.
Sometimes he dared to touch her childish breasts. And the feeling of
friendliness from the clasp of Priscilla’s hands, the pleasure of her
short childish kisses and sweet breath, the delicate texture of her
warm childish-swelling breasts, never quite left him; and to remember
Priscilla was like remembering a fragrant English garden. Like an
English garden, she was a little old-fashioned and self-consciously
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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