"Bless you for that!" was on Hope's lips; but he did not say it. Tea
was soon dismissed, and he then took up the newspaper; and when that was
finished, he found he could not read to Margaret--he must write:--he had
a case to report for a medical journal.
"I hope I have not spoiled your evening," said Hester, languidly, when
her sister went to bid her good-night. "I have been listening; but I
could not hear you either laughing or talking."
"Because we have been neither laughing nor talking. My brother has been
writing--"
"Writing! To whom? To Emily, or to Anne?"
"To a far more redoubtable person than either: to the editor of some one
of those green and blue periodicals that he devours, as if they were
poetry. And I have been copying music."
"How tired you look!"
"Well, then, good-night!"
Margaret might well look tired; but she did not go to rest for long.
How should she rest, while her soul was sick with dismay, her heart
weighed down with disappointment, her sister's sobs still sounding in
her ear, her sister's agonised countenance rising up from moment to
moment, as often as she closed her eyes? And all this within the sacred
enclosure of home, in the very sanctuary of peace! All this where love
had guided the suffering one to marriage--where there was present
neither sickness, nor calamity, nor guilt, but the very opposites of all
these! Could it then be true, that the only sanctuary of peace is in
the heart? that while love is the master passion of humanity, the
main-spring of human action, the crowning interest of human life--while
it is ordained, natural, inevitable, it should issue as if it were
discountenanced by Providence, unnatural, and to be repelled? Could it
be so? Was Hester's warning against love, against marriage, reasonable,
and to be regarded? That warning Margaret thought she could never put
aside, so heavily had it sunk upon her heart, crushing--she knew not
what there. If it was not a reasonable warning, whither should she turn
for consolation for Hester? If this misery arose out of an incapacity
in Hester herself for happiness in domestic life, then farewell sisterly
comfort--farewell all the bright visions she had ever indulged on behalf
of the one who had always been her nearest and dearest? Instead of
these, there must be struggle and grief, far deeper than in the anxious
years that were gone; struggle with an evil which must grow if it does
not diminish, and grief for an added sufferer--for one who deserved
blessing where he was destined to receive torture. This was not the
first time by a hundred that Hester had kept Margaret from her pillow,
and then driven rest from it; but never had the trial been so great as
now. There had been anxiety formerly; now there was something like
despair, after an interval of hope and comparative ease.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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