"I have a plan of life, too," said Margaret. "It is to do the duty that
lies nearest at hand; and the duty that lies nearest at hand is, to keep
you up to yours. After this, there is one which lies almost as close, I
cannot leave Hester and Edward till this crisis in their fortunes is
past. I am bound to them for the present."
"What are their claims to mine?"
"Nothing, if they were fortunate, as I trust they yet may be;--nothing,
if you had followed your plan of life up to the point when we may carry
it out together. We are wrong, Philip, in even thinking of what you
say. You must go and study law, and you must go without me. Indeed, I
could not be happy to join you yet. Your good name would suffer from
what Mrs Rowland might then say. Your future prospects would suffer
from the interruption of your preparation for your profession. I should
feel that I had injured you, and deserted my own duty. Indeed, Philip,
I could not be happy."
"And how happy do you imagine we shall be apart?"
Margaret gave him a look which said what words could not--what it was to
be assured of his love. What, it seemed to ask, could all the evil
tongues in the world do to poison this joy?
"Besides," said she, "I have the idea that I could not be spared; and
there is great pleasure in that vanity. Edward and Hester cannot do
without me at present."
"You may say so at any future time."
"No: when the right time comes, they will not want me. Oh, Philip! you
are grieved for them, and you long to see them prosperous. Do not tempt
me to desert them now. They want my help; they want the little money I
have; they want my hands and head. Let this be your share of the
penalty Mrs Rowland imposes upon us all--to spare me to them while
their adversity lasts."
"I would not be selfish, Margaret--I would not trespass upon your wishes
and your duty, but the truth is, I sometimes fear that I may have some
heavier penalty even than this to pay for Priscilla's temper. Ah! you
wonder what can be heavier. Remember she has put misunderstanding
between us before."
"But she never can again. Ours was then merely a tacit understanding.
Now, supposing me ever to hear what she may hint or say, do you imagine
I should give the slightest heed to it? I would not believe her news of
a person I had never seen; and do you think she can make the slightest
impression on me with regard to you."
"It seems unreasonable at this moment; but yet, I have a superstitious
dread of the power of spirits of evil."
"Superstitious, indeed! I defy them all, now that we have once
understood each other. If she were able to do far more than she can--if
she could load the winds with accusations against you--if she could
haunt my dreams, and raise you up in visions mocking at me--I believe
she could not move me now. Before, I blamed myself--I thought I was
lost in vanity and error: now that I have once had certainty, we are
safe."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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