Bildungsromans; Germany -- Social conditions -- 1918-1933 -- Fiction; Young men -- Germany -- Fiction
In my classroom in school I found at my desk, in the interval between
two lessons, a piece of paper slipped between the pages of my book. It
was folded in the manner we used for passing notes to one another in
class. I wondered who could have sent me such a note, as I was not so
intimate with any of the boys that one of them should wish to write to
me. I thought it was a summons to participate in some school rag or
other, in which however I should not have taken part, and I replaced
the note unopened in my book. During the lesson it fell by chance into
my hands again.
I toyed with the paper, unfolded it without thinking, and discovered a
few words written thereon. I threw a glance at the writing, one word
riveted my attention. Terrified, I read on, while my heart seemed to
become numb with a sense of destiny.
“The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Whoever
will be born must destroy a world. The bird flies to God. The name of
the god is Abraxas.”
I sank into deep meditation after I had read the words through several
times. It admitted of no doubt: this was Demian’s answer. None could
know of the bird, except our two selves. He had received my picture. He
had understood and helped me to explain its significance. But where was
the connection in all this? And--what worried me above all--what did
Abraxas mean? I had never read or heard of the word. “The name of the
god is Abraxas!”
The hour passed without my hearing anything of the lesson. The next
lesson began, the last of the morning. It was taken by quite a young
assistant master, fresh from the University, to whom we had already
taken a liking, because he was young and pretended to no false dignity
with us.
We were reading Herodotus under Doctor Follen’s guidance. This was
one of the few school subjects which interested me. But this time my
attention wandered. I had mechanically flung open my book, but I did
not follow the translation, and remained lost in thought. For the
rest, I had already several times had the experience that what Demian
had said to me in the confirmation class was right. If you willed a
thing strongly enough, it happened. If during the lesson I was deeply
immersed in thought, I need not fear that the master would disturb my
peace. Certainly, if you were absent-minded or sleepy, then he stood
suddenly there; that had already happened to me several times. But if
you were really thinking, if you were genuinely sunk in thought, then
you were safe. And I had already put to the test what he had said to me
about fixing a person with one’s eyes. When at school with Demian I had
never been successful in this attempt, but now I often realized that
you could accomplish much simply by a fixed look and deep thinking.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account