England -- Fiction; Socialism -- Fiction; Socialists -- Fiction
To bed--but not to sleep. The child’s imagination was aflame. This
scarlet woman, this meteor from hell flashing before the delighted eyes
of men, she, then, had bound Hubert for ever in her toils; no release
for him now, no ransom to eternity. No instant’s doubt of the news
came to Adela; in her eyes _imprimatur_ was the guarantee of truth. She
strove to picture the face which had drawn Hubert to his doom. It must
be lovely beyond compare. For the first time in her life she knew the
agonies of jealousy.
She could not shed tears, but in her anguish she fell upon prayer, spoke
the words above her breath that they might silence that terrible voice
within. Poor lost lamb, crying in the darkness, sending forth such
piteous utterance as might create a spirit of love to hear and rescue.
Rescue--none. When the fire wasted itself, she tried to find solace in
the thought that one source of misery was stopped. Hubert was married,
or would be very soon, and if she had sinned in loving him till now,
such sin would henceforth be multiplied incalculably; she durst not, as
she valued her soul, so much as let his name enter her thoughts. And
to guard against it, was there not a means offered her? The doubt as
to what love meant was well-nigh solved; or at all events she held it
proved that the ‘love’ of the marriage service was something she had
never yet felt, something which would follow upon marriage itself.
Earthly love had surely led Hubert Eldon to ruin; oh, not that could be
demanded of her! What reason had she now to offer against her mother’s
desire? Letty’s arguments were vain; they were but as the undisciplined
motions of her own heart. Marriage with a worthy man must often have
been salvation to a rudderless life; for was it not the _ceremony_
which, after all, constituted the exclusive sanction?
Mutimer, it was true, fell sadly short of her ideal of goodness. He was
an unbeliever. But might not this very circumstance involve a duty? As
his wife, could she not plead with him and bring him to the truth? Would
not that be _loving_ him, to make his spiritual good the end of her
existence? It was as though a great light shot athwart her darkness.
She raised herself in bed, and, as if with her very hands, clung to the
inspiration which had been granted her. The light was not abiding, but
something of radiance lingered, and that must stead her.
Her brother returned to Belwick next morning after an early breakfast.
He was in his wonted high spirits, and talked with much satisfaction of
the acquaintances he had made on the previous day, while Adela waited
upon him. Mrs. Waltham only appeared as he was setting off.
Adela sat almost in silence whilst her mother breakfasted.
‘You don’t look well, dear?’ said the latter, coming to the little room
upstairs soon after the meal.
‘Yes, I am well, mother. But I want to speak to you.’
Mrs. Waltham seated herself in expectation.
‘Will you tell me why you so much wish me to marry Mr. Mutimer?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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