England -- Fiction; Socialism -- Fiction; Socialists -- Fiction
A new complexity was introduced into her life. Viewed by this recent
light, Mutimer’s behaviour since the return from London was not so
difficult to understand; but the problem of how to bear with it became
the harder. There were hours when Adela’s soul was like a bird of the
woods cage-pent: it dashed itself against the bars of fate, and in
anguish conceived the most desperate attempts for freedom. She could
always die, but was it not hard to perish in her youth and with the
world’s cup of bliss untasted? Flight? Ah! whither could she flee? The
thought of the misery she would leave behind her, the disgrace that
would fall upon her mother--this would alone make flight impossible. Yet
could she conceive life such as this prolonging itself into the hopeless
years, renunciation her strength and her reward, duty a grinning
skeleton at her bedside? It grew harder daily. More than a year ago she
thought that the worst was over, and since then had known the solace of
self-forgetful idealisms, of ascetic striving. It was all illusion,
the spinning of a desolate heart. There was no help now, for she knew
herself and the world. Foolish, foolish child, who with her own hand
had flung away the jewel of existence like a thing of no price! Her lot
appeared single in its haplessness. She thought of Stella, of Letty,
even of Alice; _they_ had not been doomed to learn in suffering. To her,
alone of all women, knowledge had come with a curse.
A month passed. Since Rodman’s departure from Wanley, ‘Arry Mutimer was
living at the Manor. Her husband and ‘Arry were Adela’s sole companions;
the former she dreaded, the approach of the latter always caused her
insuperable disgust. To Letty there was born a son; Adela could not bend
to the little one with a whole heart; her own desolate motherhood wailed
the more bitterly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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