England -- Fiction; Socialism -- Fiction; Socialists -- Fiction
Before her sobbing vehemence he had grown calm. These words were so
unimaginable on her lips that he could make no reply save stubborn
repetition of his refusal. And having uttered that he went from the
room, changing the key to the outside and locking her in. Fear lest he
might be unable to withhold himself from laying hands upon her was the
cause of his retreat. The lust of cruelty was boiling in him, as once
or twice before. Her beauty in revolt made a savage of him. He went into
the bedroom and there waited.
Adela sat alone, sobbing still, but tearless. Her high-spirited nature
once thoroughly aroused, it was some time before she could reason on
what had come to pass. The possibility of such an end to her miseries
had never presented itself even in her darkest hours; endurance was all
she could ever look forward to. As her blood fell into calmer flow she
found it hard to believe that she had not dreamt this scene of agony.
She looked about the room. There on the table were the vegetables she
had been preparing; her hands bore the traces of the work she had done
this morning. It seemed as though she had only to rise and go on with
her duties as usual.
Her arm was painful, just below the shoulder. Yes, that was where he had
seized her with his hard hand to push her away from the door.
What had she said in her distraction? She had broken away from him,
and repudiated her wifehood. Was it not well done? If he believed her
unfaithful to him--
At an earlier period of her married life such a charge would have held
her mute with horror. Its effect now was not quite the same; she could
face the thought, interrogate herself as to its meaning, with a shudder,
indeed, but a shudder which came of fear as well as loathing. Life was
no longer an untried country, its difficulties and perils to be met with
the sole aid of a few instincts and a few maxims; she had sounded the
depths of misery and was invested with the woeful knowledge of what we
poor mortals call the facts of existence. And sitting here, as on the
desert bed of a river whose water had of a sudden ceased to flow, she
could regard her own relation to truths, however desolating, with the
mind which had rather brave all than any longer seek to deceive itself.
Of that which he imputed to her she was incapable; that such suspicion
of her could enter his mind branded him with baseness. But his jealousy
was justified; howsoever it had awakened in him, it was sustained by
truth. Was it her duty to tell him that, and so to render it impossible
for him to seek to detain her?
But would the confession have any such result? Did he not already
believe her criminal, and yet forbid her to leave him? On what terms did
she stand with a man whose thought was devoid of delicacy, who had again
and again proved himself without understanding of the principles of
honour? And could she indeed make an admission which would compel her at
the same time to guard against revolting misconceptions?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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