Adventure stories; City and town life -- Fiction; Staffordshire (England) -- Fiction
"Bless us!" said Mrs. Cotterill (doubtless the force of example).
They descended to the dining-room, where a supper table had been laid by
order of the invisible Mr. Cecil Wilbraham. And there the ladies lauded
Mr. Wilbraham’s wisdom in eschewing silver. Everything of the table
service that could be of earthenware was of earthenware. The forks and
spoons were electro-plate.
"Why!" Mrs. Cotterill said, "I could run this house without a servant
and have myself tidy by ten o’clock in a morning."
And Mrs. Machin nodded.
"And then when you want a regular turnout, as you call it," said Denry,
"there’s the vacuum cleaner."
The vacuum cleaner was at that period the last word of civilisation, and
the first agency for it was being set up in Bursley. Denry explained
the vacuum cleaner to the housewives, who had got no further than a
Ewbank. And they again called down blessings on themselves.
"What price this supper?" Denry exclaimed. "We ought to eat it. I ’m
sure he ’d like us to eat it. Do sit down, all of you. I ’ll take the
consequences."
Mrs. Machin hesitated even more than the other ladies.
"It’s really very strange, him not being here!" She shook her head.
"Don’t I tell you he ’s quite mad," said Denry.
"I should n’t think he was so mad as all that," said Mrs. Machin dryly.
"This is the most sensible kind of a house I ’ve ever seen."
"Oh! Is it?" Denry answered. "Great Scott! I never noticed those
three bottles of wine on the sideboard."
At length he succeeded in seating them at the table. Thenceforward
there was no difficulty. The ample and diversified cold supper began to
disappear steadily, and the wine with it. And as the wine disappeared
so did Mr. Cotterill (who had been pompous and taciturn) grow talkative,
offering to the company the exact figures of the cost of the house and
so forth. But ultimately the sheer joy of life killed arithmetic.
Mrs. Machin, however, could not quite rid herself of the notion that she
was in a dream that outraged the proprieties. The entire affair, for an
unromantic spot like Bursley, was too fantastically and wickedly
romantic.
"We must be thinking about home, Denry," said she.
"Plenty of time," Denry replied. "What! All that wine gone! I ’ll see
if there ’s any more in the sideboard."
He emerged, with a red face, from bending into the deeps of the
enamelled sideboard, and a wine-bottle was in his triumphant hand. It
had already been opened.
"Hooray!" he proclaimed, pouring a white wine into his glass and raising
the glass: "Here ’s to the health of Mr. Cecil Wilbraham."
He made a brave tableau in the brightness of the electric light.
Then he drank. Then he dropped the glass, which broke.
"Ugh! What’s that?" he demanded, with the distorted features of a
gargoyle.
His mother, who was seated next to him, seized the bottle. Denry’s
hand, in clasping the bottle, had hidden a small label, which said:
"_Poison. Nettleship’s Patent Enamel-Cleaning Fluid. One wipe does
it._"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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