declared that if she did not give me some proofs of her existence,
willingly or unwillingly, I would go at once to a magistrate. My
firmness made her reflect. ‘My good Monsieur Derues,’ she said, ‘I ask
your forgiveness for all the trouble I have caused you. I will give you
this deed to-morrow, to-day it is too late; but come to this same place
to-morrow, and you shall see me again.’ I hesitated, I confess, to let
her go. ‘Ah,’ she said, grasping my hands, ‘do not suspect me of
intending to deceive you! I swear that I will meet you here at four
o’clock. It is enough that I have ruined myself, and perhaps my son,
without also entangling you in my unhappy fate. Yes, you are right; this
deed is important, necessary for you, and you shall have it. But do not
show yourself here; if you were seen, I might not be able to do what I
ought to do. To-morrow you shall see me again, I swear it.’ She then
left me. The next day, the 12th, of March, I was exact at the
rendezvous, and Madame de Lamotte arrived a moment later. She gave me a
deed, authorising her husband to receive the arrears of thirty thousand
livres remaining from the purchase-money of Buisson-Souef. I endeavoured
again to express my opinion of her conduct; she listened in silence, as
if my words affected her deeply. We were walking together, when she told
me she had some business in a house we were passing, and asked me to
wait for her. I waited more than an hour, and then discovered that this
house, like many others in Lyons, had an exit in another street; and I
understood that Madame de Lamotte had escaped by this passage, and that
I might wait in vain. Concluding that trying to follow her would be
useless, and seeing also that any remonstrance would be made in vain, I
returned to Paris, deciding to say nothing as yet, and to conceal the
truth as long as possible. I still had hopes, and I did not count on
being so soon called on to defend myself: I thought that when I had to
speak, it would be as a friend, and not as an accused person. This, sir,
is the explanation of my conduct, and I regret that this justification,
so easy for myself, should be so cruelly painful for another. You have
seen the efforts which I made to defer it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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