“Fond!” and the little man sank his voice into a whisper; “he is the sublimest buffoon that ever existed. I will tell you an instance--Do you like these Hungary wines, by the by?--On the 9th of last June, the Czar carried me, and half-a-dozen more of the foreign ministers, to his pleasure-house (Peterhoff). Dinner, as usual, all drunk with Tokay, and finished by a quart of brandy each, from her Majesty’s own hand. Carried off to sleep,--some in the garden, some in the wood. Woke at four, still in the clouds. Carried back to the pleasure-house, found the Czar there, made us a low bow, and gave us a hatchet apiece, with orders to follow him. Off we trudged, rolling about like ships in the Zuyder Zee, entered a wood, and were immediately set to work at cutting a road through it. Nice work for us of the _corps diplomatique_! And, by my soul, Sir, you see that I am by no means a thin man! We had three hours of it, were carried back, made drunk again, sent to bed, roused again in an hour, made drunk a third time; and, because we _could not_ be waked again, left in peace till eight the next morning. Invited to court to breakfast; such headaches we had; longed for coffee; found nothing but brandy; forced to drink; sick as dogs; sent to take an airing upon the most damnable little horses, not worth a guilder, no bridles nor saddles; bump--bump--bump we go, up and down before the Czar’s window,--he and the Czarina looking at us. I do assure you I lost two stone by that ride,--two stone, Sir!--taken to dinner; drunk again, by the Lord, all bundled on board a _torrenschute_; devil of a storm came on; Czar took the rudder; Czarina on high benches in the cabin, which was full of water; waves beating; winds blowing; certain of being drowned; charming prospect!--tossed about for seven hours; driven into the port of Cronsflot. Czar leaves us, saying, ‘Too much of a jest, eh, gentlemen?’ All got ashore wet as dog-fishes, made a fire, stripped stark naked (a Dutch ambassador stark naked,--think of it, Sir!), crept into some covers of sledges, and rose next morning with the ague,--positive fact, Sir! Had the ague for two months. Saw the Czar in August; ‘A charming excursion to my pleasure-house,’ said his Majesty; ‘we must make another party there soon.’” As the Dutchman delivered himself of the little history he was by no means forgetful of the Hungary wines; and as Bacchus and Venus have old affinity, he now began to grow eloquent on the women. “What think you of them yourself?” said he; “they have a rolling look, eh?” “They have so,” I answered: “but they all have black teeth; what’s the reason?” “They think it a beauty, and say white teeth are the sign of a blackamoor.”