New England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Women -- New England -- Fiction
How that night went by it would be useless to try to tell. Some things
cannot be described. A loosing of all the bands of law and order in the
material world we call chaos; and once in a while the mental nature of
some poor mortal falls for a time into a like condition. No hold of
anything, not even of herself; no clear sense of anything, except of
the disorder and pain; no hope at the moment that could fasten on
either world, the present or the future; no will to lay hold of the
unruly forces within her and reduce them to obedience. An awful night
for Diana, such as she never had spent, nor in its full measure would
ever spend again. Nevertheless, through all the confusion, under all
the tumult, there was one fixed point; indeed, it was the point round
which all the confusion worked, and which Diana was dimly conscious of
all the while; one point of action. At the time she could not steady
herself to look at it; but when the dawn came up in the sky, with its
ineffable promise of victory by and by,--and when the rays of the sun
broke over the hills with their golden performance of conquest begun,
strength seemed to come into her heart. Certainly light has no
fellowship with darkness; and the spiritual and the material are more
closely allied, perhaps, than we wot of. Diana washed herself and
dressed, and felt that she had done with yesterday.
It was a worn and haggard face that was opposite Basil at the breakfast
table; but she sat there, and poured out his tea with not less care
than usual. Except for cups of tea, the meal was not much more than a
pretence. After it was done, Diana followed her husband to his study.
"Basil," she said, "I must go away."
Mr. Masters started, and asked what she meant.
"I mean just that," said Diana. "I must go away Basil, help me!"
"Help you, my child?" said he; "I will help you all I can. But sit
down, Diana; you are not able to stand. Why do you want to go away?"
"I must."
"Where do you wish to go?"
"I do not know. I do not care. Anywhere."
"You have no plan?"
"No; only to get away."
"Why, Diana?" he said very tenderly. "Is it necessary?"
"Yes, Basil. I must go."
"Do you know that it would be extremely difficult for me to leave home
just at present? There are so many people wanting me."
"I know that. I have thought of all that. You cannot go. Let me go, and
baby."
"Where, my dear?
"I don't know," she said with almost a sob. "You must know. You must
help me, Basil."
Basil looked at her, and took several turns up and down the room, in
sorrow and perplexity.
"What is your reason, Di?" he asked gently. "If I understood your
thought better, I should know better how to meet it."
"I must be away," said Diana vaguely. "I must not be here. I musn't be
where I can see--anybody. Nobody must know where I am, Basil--do you
understand? You must send me away, and you must not tell _anybody_."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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