New England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Women -- New England -- Fiction
Diana could not hear but could well guess; at other times it was
brought round ecstatically to join its companion round her father's
neck, or lifted to his face with fingers of caressing, or thrust in
among the locks of his hair, which last seemed to be a favourite
pleasure. Basil would stand still at such times and talk to her, or
wait, Diana knew with just what a smile in his eyes, to take the soft
touches and return them. Diana's work was forgotten, and her eyes were
riveted; why did the scene in the garden give her such pain? She would
have said, if she had been asked, that it was self-reproach and sorrow
for the inevitable. How came it that she held not as near a place to
Basil as her child did? She ought, but it was not so. She thought, she
wished she loved him! She ought to be as free to put her hand on the
soft curls of Basil's hair as her baby was, but they stood too far
apart from each other, and she would as soon have dared anything. And
Basil never looked at _her_ so now-a-days; he had found out how she
felt, and knew she did not care for his looks; and kind, and gentle,
and unselfish as he was, yes, and strong in self-command and self
renunciation, he had resigned his life-hope and left her to her
life-sorrow. Yet Diana knew, with every smile and kiss to the little
one, what a cry of Basil's heart went out towards the child's mother.
Only, he would never give that cry utterance again. "What can I do?"
thought Diana. "I cannot bear it. And he thinks I am a great deal more
unhappy than I am. Unhappy?--I am not unhappy--if only _he_ were not
unhappy."
She could not explain her feelings to herself, she had no notion that
she was jealous of her own child; but the pain bit her, and she could
not endure to sit up there at the window and look on. Rising hastily,
she dropped her work out of her hand, and was about to go down into the
garden to join them, when another glance showed her that Basil had
turned and was coming back into the house. Diana listened to them as
they mounted the stairs, Basil's feet and the baby's voice sounding
together, with a curious unrest at her heart, and her eyes met the pair
eagerly as they entered the room. From what impulse she could not have
told, she advanced to meet them, and stretched out her hands to take
the child, which, however, with a little confident cry of delight,
turned from her and clasped both little arms again round her father's
neck. Basil smiled; Diana tried to follow suit.
"She would rather be with you than with me," she remarked, however.
"I wonder at her bad taste!" said Basil. But he turned his face to the
baby, and laid it gently against her soft cheek.
"It is because you are stronger," Diana went in.
"Is it?"
"That is one thing. You may notice children always like strong arms."
"Her mother's arms are not weak."
"No--but I am not so strong as you, Basil, bodily or mentally. And I
think that is more yet--mental strength, I mean. Children recognise
that, and love to rest on it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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