the sake of which He was content to stretch His nailed hands upon it,
His thought is without honour.
* * * * *
Poor Mr. Goodwin! Poor John! Affection had to struggle on as best it
could as the years widened the gulf between them, and was reduced to
find a meagre subsistence in cordial words and sympathy for neuralgia on
John's part, and interest in John's shooting and hunting on Mr.
Goodwin's. Affectionate and easy terms were gradually re-established
between them, and a guarded sympathy on general subjects returned; but
Mr. Goodwin knew that, from being "the friend of the inner, he had
become only the companion of the outer life" of the person he cared for
most in the world, and the ways of Providence appeared to him
inscrutable. And now Mr. Goodwin understood John even less at seven and
twenty than at twenty-one. The conception of the possibility of a mind
that after being strongly influenced by a succession of the most
"dangerous" teachers and books, gives final allegiance to none, and can
at last elect to stand alone, was impossible to Mr. Goodwin. And yet
John arrived at that simple and natural result at which those who have
sincerely and humbly searched for a law and an authority outside
themselves do arrive. An external authority is soon seen to be too good
to be true. There is no court of appeal against the verdict of the
inexorable judge who dwells within.
How many rush hither and thither and wear down the patience of earnest
counsellors, and whittle away all the best years of their lives to
nothingness, in fretting and scratching among ruins for the law by which
they may live! They look for it in Bibles, in the minds of anxious
friends who turn over everything to help them, in the face of Nature,
who betrays the knowledge of the secret in her eyes, but who utters it
not. And last of all a remnant of the many look in their own hearts,
where the great law of life has been hidden from the beginning. David
says: "Yea, Thy law is within my heart." A greater than David said the
same. But it is buried deep, and few there be that find it.
CHAPTER XI.
"Still as of old
Man by himself is priced.
For thirty pieces Judas sold
Himself, not Christ."
H.C.C.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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